What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
I asked a pink bird who its favourite artist was. It looked at me strangely and replied “Flamingo Starr, of course.”
Why doesn't Mrs. Clause like to go outside in spring?
Because of all the rain, dear.
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
Even if injuries end it prematurely, Paul's had a good Kariya.
Dolphins don't have accidents.
They do everything on porpoise.
What is the mermaid’s favorite drink?
A mertini.
What was the shark’s favorite Tim Burton film?
Edward Scissorfins.
When my teacher asked me if I knew who built the ark in History class, I answered, "I have Noah idea!"
I received an award at work for being the most secretive employee.
I can’t tell you how much this means to me.
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.
What do you call a lazy goat?
Billy Idle.
What happened when a clumsy sommelier tried to decant a bottle of fine wine?
Things went pour-ably wrong.
How does a dolphin do cocaine?
With its blow hole.
What was one raindrop overheard saying to another? Two's company, three's a cloud.
The man who survived pepper spray and mustard gas is now a seasoned veteran
A bowl of salad went to church
Lettuce pray.
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
Why did the bunny eat the wedding ring? Because he heard it was 18 carrots.
What did the Little Mermaid say to Triton before she left?
- If you need me, call me on my shell.
here do lobsters go to borrow money? The prawn broker.
What do you call a blind dinosaur? adoyouthinkhesaurus.
What do you call a fruit that doesn't take s**t from anyone? The top banana.
What did they use to set off the amazon warehouse fire?
Amazon kindle.
What do you call a funny bone?
A humerus.
What do you call a group of rabbits walking backwards?
A receding hareline
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
10-tickles.
What does an exhibitionist snake wear to the beach?
A pythong.
What did the cowboy say when he bought a yo yo.
This ain't my first yo yo!
When you cross summer sun with summer pun you get summer fun.
The big cat was known around town to wear a lot of funky ties. Everyone called him the tie-ger.
Thank goodness for Halloween, all of a sudden, cobwebs in my house are decorations!
I love lamps.
They're so enlightening.
What do you call nomadic gnomes?
Gnomads.
What do gnome allergy sufferers call a reaction caused by daisy-like flowers?
An aster-risk.
Potatoes that are medi-tators maintain calm and peace even when uprooted.
A pickle store is giving out their new tea-flavored pickles on the street today
I tried some and I guess they tasted quite a-tea-pickle.
Q: What is a wind turbine’s favorite musical group?
A: Air Supply
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
I booked an appointment at the orthopedist for my whole family.
We got joint problems.
What is the hippest kind of fruit? A bae-nae-nae.
I have an idea for a chain of Elvis steak houses.
It will be for people who love meat tender.
A boy sees an alligator in the zoo and shouts,
“Hey, are you a caiman?”
The alligator replies, “I’m alright, thanks, kid!”
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, was it Red Bull that gave you wings, or are you just an angel?
How does the moon take a bath?
It has meteor showers!
What’s the best view you can get in our galaxy? A view of the milky way from mars.
There was a flamingo in our garden for such a long time, we started calling it a flaminstay.
What do you call a baker with a cold?
Coughee cake.
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