I love the smell of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies They smell just like burned toast
What do you call a little tune about atmospheric moisture?
A humi-ditty.
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
I was supposed to play the trumpet
But I blew it.
What kind of werewolf can track down flowers ?
A bud hound
My wife asked, “Honey, could you reach that dish on the top shelf? It’s too high for me.”
It was a challenge, but I stepped up to the plate.
Why don’t dogs bark at their feet?
It isn’t polite to talk back to your paw.
Why was the zombie afraid to cross the road?
He had lost his guts.
Did you hear about the train that dressed up for Halloween?
It became a fright train.
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
What do you call a rental car in Spain?
A Barceloaner.
Which servant of God was the worst lawbreaker in the Bible?
Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.
How does Frankenstein jump-start his day?
With a shock of lighting.
Why did the bicycle go to bed early?
Because it was two-tyred
What do you call a fairy that doesn’t like to shower?
Stinkerbell.
Why couldn’t the submarine commander get to the surface after joining Reddit?
He couldn’t get any up-boats
We’re in a-green-ment.
What position did the young vampire bat play on the football team?
Quater-bat.
What do potatoes become when they smoke weed?
Baked potatoes.
I always start my day with makeup. It's the foundation for a good day, y'know? It covers up anything from yesterday and really sets things in place so I can powder through my work.
Where was Solomon’s temple located?
On the side of his head.
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snow bank.
What does the Yeti do when he is tired?
Himalaya down.
What's green and got two wheels?
A motorpickle.
In Australia, they have a scary lemon dessert that keeps coming back.
They call it Boo-Meringue.
What do you call a small scoop of ice-cream? A uni-cone.
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
What’s a potato’s least favorite dance? The Mash Potato.
How did the ghost get from New York to London? British Scare-ways.
It was so hot that the bee's perm had become extremely unmanageable, so she turned into a frizzbee.
My wifi password is the cat's birthday month
Feb-paw-hairy
What do you get if you cross a witch with a werewolf?
A mad dog that chases airplanes!
I was painting my room with my brother...
When I realised. He's not a very good brush.
People need to be careful about computers at all times because they byte.
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
It's a Cemer Tree.
What board game do deer families always play?
Buck-gammon.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
This rainbow is on its last legs, it's really hanging by a red.
What kind of cheese protects a castle?
Moat-zarella.
What is the difference between archeology and grave robbing?
About 200 years
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?
Because it was over 90 degrees.
What did the Turkey do on Halloween?
He was a goblin
Why did the River go to the doctor? Her flow wouldn't stop.
Why did the mouse eat a candle? For some light refreshment!
Who were Gumby’s favorite Bible characters?
Shadrack, Meshack & AhBENDago.
I bought a secured warehouse where I keep appliances to clean pots, pans, plates, and silverware.
It's dishwasher safe!
Go to BabaMail
