Is plate throwing a trully Olympic sport?
Discuss.
What did the bus driver say to the frog?
Hop on.
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
I hear you like wine, too. Grape minds think alike.
What do you call a bodybuilder skeleton?
A musculoskeleton.
Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"
“How do the elves clean Santa’s sleigh on the day after Christmas? They use Santa-tizer!”
Why did the mammoth have a woolly coat?
Because he would have looked ridiculous in an anorak.
I got fired from my job as a submarine pilot.
I just don't get it. My performance reviews always said my work was sub-standard.
The reason orange juice doesn’t slide well on hard wood floors is Because of pulp friction.
"You are so bottlefull to me."
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
I love meat. I think going vegetarian would be a big missed steak.
How do you know if you're a bad gardener?
All the rocks in your garden went belly up!
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
What did the tired witch do?
She sat down for a spell.
What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
What is the opposite of a flamingo? The answer is, a flaminstop.
Why does everyone want ice cream to be on their team?
Because with them, anything is popsicle.
What did the tornado say to the washing machine?
Want to go for a spin?
Why was the crow on the telephone wire? To make a long-distance caw.
Where do bananas go to learn to be sweet?
Sundae School.
I love you dairy much.
My last chess game went a bit medieval.
We both went for the castle.
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
I'm trying to break the ice, but you just keep giving me the cold shoulder.
“Statistically…. 9 out of 10 injections are in vein.”
What do you call a food waste disposter installed in the sink?
In-sink-erator
Will glass coffins ever become popular?
This remains to be seen.
Strawberries are considered to be the most bullied fruits because they're always getting picked on.
What did the thunderstorm say to the lightning rod?
You'll never catch me, copper!
Why was the well done steak a terrible gossip? It wasn't juicy enough!
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
How many atoms are in guacamole?
Avocados number.
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
I’ve heard of fraudsters before, but that was one heck of a unique-con if I ever saw one.
My keyboard is missing a key. I lost ctrl.
Up to snow good.
What do ghoul scouts hope to achieve by selling halloween cookies? They hope to make a good first impression.
What do you call someone with Yellow hair on the beach?
A beach blond.
Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.
What various kinds of fishes live in space? Starfish.
What do you call a bacon wrapped dinosaur? Jurrasic Pork.
I guess you can say my misunderstanding of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles
Elbow.
What do you call a Belgian who's bad at grammar?
An twerp.
What was Michael Jackson's favorite Spanish food?
Jamon!
What did Train say when they visited a sibling in South Korea?
Hey, Seoul Sister!
You will never see a vampire betting on the horses. They can't handle the stakes.
A camel can work all week without drinking..
A man can drink all week without working.
Why didn't the hipster swim in the river? It was too mainstream.
Go to BabaMail
