How do you offer a camel tea?
"One hump or two?"
How many grams of protein are there in that slice of chocolate pie? 3.14159265.
Volleyball is air affair. This would be a good motto for your team.
What do you call bananas that don't stick up for themselves? A bunch of pansies.
Why does England always get attacked in the summer?
Because the Knights are shorter then.
On a recent flight, my friend asked me, "If the door suddenly opens, you think we will fall out?
I said, "No, we will still be friends."
What's the best way to talk to a Tyrannosaur ? Long distance!
I’ve been working on my poop art recently...
It’s pretty sh**.
Why do snowmen always get injured when playing sports?
Because they refuse to warm up!
If I buy you guacamole, will you sleep with me?
You must think I’m some kind of avocad-ho.
Yally Bally had a jolly golliwog. Feeling folly, Yally Bally Bought his jolly golli' a dollie made of holly! The golli', feeling jolly, named the holly dollie, Polly. So Yally Bally's jolly golli's holly dollie Polly's also jolly!
I wish that I could be the coronary artery of my wife so that I would be wrapped around her heart.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
What do skeletons say when they set off to sea?
- Bone voyage!
How do crazy runners go through the forest?
They take the psychopath!
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
I wanted to redo the flooring in my bathroom, but I did not have enough tiles...
It was a few'tile effort.
What did the pea dad say after a tiring day at work? "I'm desperate for some peas of mind."
When the unicorn lost his job, there was nothing funny about being canned corn anymore.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
Farmers are real experts, they are often outstanding in their fields.
Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?
Because it was over 90 degrees.
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
What kind of candy is never on time? ChocoLATE
What kind of vest should you wear in the fall?
A har-vest.
What race makes for the edgiest bards?
Rock gnomes.
Why couldn’t the dog fit in his clothes?
He was a little husky
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
What did the light bulb say to the electric generator? ‘You spark up my life!”
What did the pillow say when the blanket asked it to come hang out?
I'm down
How did the shark plead in its murder trial?
Not gill-ty.
Shucking takes lots of corn-centration.
It's easier to prepare meals with this new cookware-wolf.
I came home and found my wife naked, except for a porcelain mug on each breast.
She said she was a t-cup.
The tea pot sounds so angry!
Nah, its just letting off some steam.
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
What is a car’s favourite colour?
Racing car green.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
What do you call a cap to a jar that doesn't fit?
An invalid.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
What do you get when you cross a smurf and a cow?
Blue cheese.
Why couldn’t the pig tie his shoelaces? He was too ham-fisted.
What happened when the Easter Bunny met the rabbit of his dreams? They lived hoppily ever after.
I thought my ballet-themed body art was unique
But then I saw someone who had a tutu tattoo, too.
I killed a spider with soap
He got a clean death.
My friend was explaining at length how he was digging holes in his backyard for water.
He was boring.
Easter is grammatically incorrect.
We should say more east.
I bought a secured warehouse where I keep appliances to clean pots, pans, plates, and silverware.
It's dishwasher safe!
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
Did you hear about the bear with the bad heart?
It went into kodiak arrest.
Go to BabaMail
