I'm fondue you, it's true
Are you a taco?
Cause you sure taco lot
When were Medieval armies too tired to fight?
When they had a lot of sleepless knights!
What did Dracula say when he saw a giraffe for the first time?
I’d like to get to gnaw you.
What was Julius Caesar's answer when the flooring installer asked what he wanted to do with the old floor boards?
Carpet dem.
What do German meat lovers breathe?
Hamburg-air
I'll be making a movie about the Greek alphabets.
It's a Psi Phi film.
What is a definition of art theft? The haul of frames.
Q. What do you get when a swine artist mixes two colors together?
A. Pigment.
I was thinking about hopping in the shower...
But I realized that I might slip and hurt myself.
What do the early European settlers in America have in common with ants?
They both lived in colonies!
What did the orange say to the lemon?
"'yello!"
What's all wet and likes to shake? It's an earthquake on a rainy day.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
I recently quit my job as a butler at a stately home.
I refuse to be ordered around in that manor.
What did the deer say when he left the barbershop?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
I tried looking up ice cream puns on the Internet...
But then my browser froze.
Did you hear about the guy who fell into the industrial cake mixer?
He's feeling much batter now.
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
When I asked the bus driver for directions, it was a 'bus stop' service!
What is Romeo and Juliet's least favorite fruit?
Can't- elope!
Son: Father can you tell me what a solar eclipse is? Father: No sun.
Why do skeletons drink so much milk?
It’s good for the bones!
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When it's been sliced.
I just heard that the government has made an amendment to lockdown to allow Father Christmas out...
It's called the Santa Clause
Nothing runs a pun like bad spelling, accept poor grammar's.
Where do crabs invest their money?
A sea bank.
Something’s goat to give.
The pot of coffee he just made is basically break fluid.
Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea
How do you know if there is a Brachiosaurus in bed with you? By the dinosnores.
Why did the corn stalks hold a ceremony in honor of the scarecrow?
To corn-gratulate him for being out standing in their field!
I shot the city sheriff.
I shot the city sheriff.
I shot the city sheriff.
I usually meet my girlfriend at 12:59 because I like that one-to-one time.
When milking a nervous goat, you should use kid gloves.
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
What did the deer say after prancing around a cloning machine for an hour?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
Why is learning to ski in France so difficult?
'Cause sometimes they won't Alp you.
I won't let my daughter near ducks...
Due to their fowl language
What do you call a chicken that was struck by lightning?
Air fried.
I married my wife for her looks. Just not the ones she been giving me lately.
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
Why do dinosaurs eat raw meat? Because they don't know how to cook.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite type of music?
R n’ Brie.
Where do parrots invest their money?
In the stork market
Seas the day.
What symbolizes a goat’s family tree?
A goat of arms.
How does the moon take a bath?
It has meteor showers!
How can you tell if a real estate agent is British?
They’re all about proper tea.
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