Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
What does a deer call her boyfriend?
Cari-boo.
The fruit politician is losing its support in the country because of hate peach.
"Bone to be wild."
Why did the hipster chemist get burnt?
Because he touched the beaker before it was cool.
Digging trenches during the middle ages was seen as a great honor because it showed someone's shovelry!
If you are a fan of alphabet soup, then you might also know times new ramen.
Once we had a cooking exam. After I finished, teacher said, that it was well done
But I made Medium Rare.
I have the heart of a lion
And a lifetime ban from the San Diego Zoo.
How could the skeleton tell that rain was coming?
He could feel it in his bones.
What do you call it when you walk into a coffee shop and feel like you've been there before? Déja-brew.
What is it called when a dinosaur hits a homerun?
A Dino-Score.
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
Cassini spacecraft took pictures of both Saturn and Earth. It was literally the best of both worlds.
Let’s have a shamrockin’ good time tonight!
Don’t go bacon my heart.
You better beer-live it!
Don’t ever trust a leper-con!
Do you know what firemen often add to their soup? – They add firecrackers.
Strawberries are considered to be the most bullied fruits because they're always getting picked on.
My boss fired me.
"Why?" I asked.
He said, "You always question authority."
"How?"
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
The toilets at an AMF are known as the boweling alleys.
What is a dog’s favorite pick-up line?
You must be my backyard… because I dig you
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
What do you call a big boat full of fish
A carp ark.
My love for you is like no otter.
It’s really easy to send a nice card to a flamingo. You just write “Hope you have a flamingood…”
Why did the belt get arrested? Because he held up a pair of pants. What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake!
The difference between popcorn and pea soup, is that you can pop corn, but you can't pea soup.
What do you think holds the moon up? Moonbeams.
Two goats are married, living on a farm. Billy Goat says, "I really want children. Let's make some babies."
Betty Goat responds, "Heck no. No baby goats for me..."
"I'm not kidding."
What music are balloons scared of? Pop music
Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be.
Why was the boxer fired from his job?
He never punched out.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
What clothes do rainbows wear? Thunderpants.
When I asked the bus driver for directions, it was a 'bus stop' service!
What do potatoes become when they smoke weed?
Baked potatoes.
When soup feels strained and stressed, where would it go? – A broth-el!
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
Golf is what you play…
When you’re too out of shape to play softball.
Told my wife I’m going to take a shower.
She said, dn’t take it too far!
What do zombies call a battle between classical music composers where one of them loses their mind?
A de-Bach-le.
My son elbowed me in the mouth during a tickle fight
But that's ok. It was acci-dental.
How does a goblin eat a hotdog?
By goblin it.
Nobody would ask the strawberry to go to the prom because it was past her sale by date.
Go to BabaMail
