Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
How did that avocado baker make bread?
With avoca-dough.
The mom to the naughty vampire said to him, “Watch your battitude, that is not how you talk to your elders.”
The walnut was not good at sports but did really well with his macadamia at school.
How does a crab go when it's right?
"Aw, snap!"
Why did the Pilgrims sail to America?
It was too far to swim.
How do you know you have a tape worm?
It’s comming out of your belly!
Why can't you hear a psychiatrist when they go to the bathroom?
Because the P is silent.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
What does a man consider a seven-course meal? A hot dog and a six pack of beer.
Have you ever tried to write your own puns?
It's a fairly difficult pun-dertaking!
Who did the goats vote for as president?
Billy Clinton.
Where was Solomon’s temple located?
On the side of his head.
I built an electric fence around my property yesterday.
My neighbor is dead against it.
Did you hear about the spoon? It caused quite a stir!
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
What do dehydrated alligators drink?
Gatorade.
How does a bee get to school?
She takes a school buzz
A man started wearing a blanket to the office.
His colleagues began to suspect he was working undercover...
What is a vampire’s favorite sport?
Casketball.
What is a dentist’s favorite hymn?
Crown Him with Many Crowns
Nothing really mattress.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar. "GET OUT OF HERE!!!" The Bartender shouts we don't serve your type!
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
I heard my son complaining about doing laundry.
He said, 'These just socks'.
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
When your putt lips out, what disease do you have?
Liprocy.
Why didn’t the zombie stay in town?
There was a new head strong sherif in town!
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
I managed to fix the toilet all on my own today! I'm so proud of myself. Some would even go as far as to say I'm...
flushed with success.
What do you get if you cross a new born snake with a basketball?
A bouncing baby boa.
What did hear about the two bats meeting?
It was love at first bite!
The only gift I got for my birthday was a deck of sticky playing cards.
I’m having a hard time dealing with it.
What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck? Milk and Quackers!
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
Never believe minotaurs...
Half of everything they say is bull.
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
What kind of potatoes do zombies like?
Monster mash.
Did you hear about the gnome rogue?
Of course not, that g is silent!
What kind of ghoul has the best hearing?
The eeriest!
I accidentally kicked my bed post when I got up this morning, almost couldn't move!
Luckilly, I called a toe truck.
What will you do if you come across a green alien? I’ll simply wait until it’s ripe.
What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet? blood-thirsty hacker baby
What do you call a deodorant that's never happy?
A deodor-rant.
A drummer got a tattoo of a drum kit on himself
It was very cymbalic.
What do the guys at the ski repair shop eat their lunch on?
Baseplates.
What punishment do legs get in the medieval era?
decapita-shin
Go to BabaMail
