I've got 4 eyes, 3 legs, 1 tail, and 12 toes. What am I?
A liar.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
What do you call Bears without ears
B.
“My Dog has no nose. How does he smell?”
"Awful.”
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
I saw a friend of mine named Ella sit down to eat a fillet of salmon. As she lifted the fork to her mouth I screamed NO DON’T EAT THAT!
When she asked why I responded “you’ll get salmon-Ella!”
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
A captain was barking at his crew. "What do you think is between yer ears!?"
"Eye Eye, Captain!"
Bad puns are how eye roll.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
-
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
Did you know Davy Crockett had three ears?
A left ear, a right ear, and a wild frontier.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
George Michael once damaged his ears while cleaning them...
Careless Swissper.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
What do you get if you cut off Mona Lisa's ears?
MONO LISA.
What makes your mouth sad?
A tongue depressor.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
I got sick when I lost one of my ear buds.
It was mono.
My father in law has had an ear infection for three weeks.
I had to double check that, it didn't sound right.
What do you call a flower with a mouth?
Tulip.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
A nose visited its home town.
It was overcome with nostril-gia.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
If Colgate kills 99.9% of bacterias in mouth, what does Colgate sensitive do?
It kills 99.9% without hurting their feelings.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
What do you call an Amish Man whose hand is in a horse’s mouth?
A mechanic.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
What do you call someone with fruit in one ear and whipped cream in the other?
A trifle deaf.
I accidentally injured my girlfriend with a mouth organ.
I really didn't mean to harm Monica.
Why do seals carry fish in their mouth?
Because they don't have pockets.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
My friend keeps joking about the thing he has to wear to cover his mouth while he's exercising outside.
It's a running gag.
We all have that one vegan friend.... I said to mine,"Do you have to mention vegetables every time you open your mouth?"
She said, "Not neccecelery."
I can't hear out of my ear...
It's really EAR-itating.
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
Some people think it's okay to wear your mask over your mouth while not covering your nose.
They're mouthbreathers.
What do you call a giant gorilla with pean u t butter in one ear and Jam in the other?
Anything you want, he's not going to hear you!
What did the skeleton say to the French soldier? Bone Jaw
I can cut a piece of wood with my own eyes just by looking at it
It's true, I saw it with my own eyes.
What kind of ears do trains have?
Engineers.
How do mountains hear?
with mountaineers.
Go to BabaMail
