Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
Did you know there is a new horse species with one eye and a horn?
It's called a unicornea.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot!
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
Piiig
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
Rich people are born with a silver spoon in their mouth.
But polite french people are born with a s'il vous plaît.
Why do seals carry fish in their mouth?
Because they don't have pockets.
My friend keeps joking about the thing he has to wear to cover his mouth while he's exercising outside.
It's a running gag.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
What do emo birds call their mouths?
Bleaks.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
You can pick your friends or you can pick your nose...
but you can't pick your friend's nose.
I got sick when I lost one of my ear buds.
It was mono.
A person with a very blocked nose walks into a doctors office.
The doctor says: "So, you're having mucus problems?"
The person replies: "perhaps, perhaps snot.
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get soap in your mouth.
Then it becomes a soap opera.
What do you call a giant gorilla with pean u t butter in one ear and Jam in the other?
Anything you want, he's not going to hear you!
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
I got some salt in my eye
Now it’s see salt.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
What do you do if your nose goes on strike?
Picket.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
I've never seen the inside of my ears...
But I've heard good things.
I can cut a piece of wood with my own eyes just by looking at it
It's true, I saw it with my own eyes.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes.
Now I have Heinzsight.
What kind of ears do trains have?
Engineers.
Did you know Davy Crockett had three ears?
A left ear, a right ear, and a wild frontier.
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
I saw a friend of mine named Ella sit down to eat a fillet of salmon. As she lifted the fork to her mouth I screamed NO DON’T EAT THAT!
When she asked why I responded “you’ll get salmon-Ella!”
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
What do you call friends with airpods in their ears
Earbuds.
I've got 4 eyes, 3 legs, 1 tail, and 12 toes. What am I?
A liar.
What do you call an eye specialist with a short shirt?
A crop-toptometrist
what does Stalin use to wipe his mouth?
A Soviette.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
What do you call a flower with a mouth?
Tulip.
There's a South American country where they have a rare pepper. Instead of being hot when you eat it, it makes your mouth feel cold.
It's called the Chilly Chile Chili.
My little sister came to my room with a lighbulb in her mouth. I asked her "what in the world are you doing?"
She said "I'm having a light snack."
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