What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
You can pick your friends or you can pick your nose...
but you can't pick your friend's nose.
What do you get if you cut off Mona Lisa's ears?
MONO LISA.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
I had a jaw-dropping experience.
Sadly, it was radium poisoning.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
his morning my son said his ear hurt and I asked : on the inside or outside?
So he walks out the front door, comes back in and says "Both."
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
What do you call an ear with no eyes
No-eyed ear
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
My barrista friend turns up her nose at instant coffee.
She's quite sankamonious.
Did you hear about the guy who got a metal jaw replacement?
I think he just did it for a tin chin.
I got punched in the mouth by a drug addict today.
Now my jaw’s all methed up.
A man goes to the doctors and says " Doc, I'm having problems with my ears, I think I'm going deaf".
The Doc says " Can you tell me the symptoms?"
The man replies, " Well, Homer's the big fat bloke, and Marge has blue hair!"
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
Did you know Davy Crockett had three ears?
A left ear, a right ear, and a wild frontier.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
I saw my neighbor, slumped over his lawnmower, crying his eyes out.
I think he’s going through a rough patch.
Eye drops are technically blinker fluid.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eye deer.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
What did the skeleton say to the French soldier? Bone Jaw
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
What do you call friends with airpods in their ears
Earbuds.
I inshtalled my shelf wrong and it fell on top of me, breaking my jaw. Now I shound weird.
I guesh I only have myshelf to blame.
-
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
I've been trying to sleep with one eye open lately, but it's really hard
Last night I couldn't sleep a wink
Why do seals carry fish in their mouth?
Because they don't have pockets.
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get soap in your mouth.
Then it becomes a soap opera.
Some people think it's okay to wear your mask over your mouth while not covering your nose.
They're mouthbreathers.
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
The other day someone made fun of my ears for hanging down too far.
Lobe low, dude.
I saw a movie about a pig with no eyes.
It was PG.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
I don’t understand why ear biting is a fetish
Almost everyone eats corn.
Son: Hey Dad, why do you have your ear right up to that computer?
Dad: I’m listening to A Dell
George Michael once damaged his ears while cleaning them...
Careless Swissper.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
I got sick when I lost one of my ear buds.
It was mono.
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
What do you call a person with a peg nose acting suspicious?
Suspeg.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
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