Why was the man who hung tennis equipment from his ears arrested?
He was found guilty of racket-ear-ring
What do you call a gray animal with big ears and a large trunk?
A traveling mouse.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
I saw a movie about a pig with no eyes.
It was PG.
Condoms are like ear muffs.
They prevent a lot of noise.
My barrista friend turns up her nose at instant coffee.
She's quite sankamonious.
I inshtalled my shelf wrong and it fell on top of me, breaking my jaw. Now I shound weird.
I guesh I only have myshelf to blame.
what does Stalin use to wipe his mouth?
A Soviette.
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
My head hurt and I had a really runny nose during math class
I think i had a sin(x) infection.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
Called in sick to work one day complaining about my eyes.
When they asked what's wrong I said:
“I just can’t see myself coming in to work today.”
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
My little sister came to my room with a lighbulb in her mouth. I asked her "what in the world are you doing?"
She said "I'm having a light snack."
I stumbled into a room where everyone's ears were missing.
I know it sounds EARy, but it wasn't.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
I got some salt in my eye
Now it’s see salt.
I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth.
Now when I talk I have a weird axe scent.
Bad puns are how eye roll.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
If Colgate kills 99.9% of bacterias in mouth, what does Colgate sensitive do?
It kills 99.9% without hurting their feelings.
What is your mouth’s favorite exercise?
Burpees.
Some people think it's okay to wear your mask over your mouth while not covering your nose.
They're mouthbreathers.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
What do you call someone with fruit in one ear and whipped cream in the other?
A trifle deaf.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
My eye doctor’s office is at the shopping mall.
She’s an Opthemallogist.
What do you call an Amish Man whose hand is in a horse’s mouth?
A mechanic.
How do you beat a robot in a fist fight
Socket in the jaw.
What has ears but cannot hear?
A field of corn.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
I accidentally injured my girlfriend with a mouth organ.
I really didn't mean to harm Monica.
There's a serious ear condition that dogs can get, it makes their ears ring all the time.
It's called Rin-Tin-Tinnitus.
A man is holding a bee, what is in his eye?
Beauty.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows
If a T-Rex slipped and broke its nose would it would need a dinoplasty?
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
A man goes to the doctors and says " Doc, I'm having problems with my ears, I think I'm going deaf".
The Doc says " Can you tell me the symptoms?"
The man replies, " Well, Homer's the big fat bloke, and Marge has blue hair!"
You can pick your friends or you can pick your nose...
but you can't pick your friend's nose.
Thankfully evolution gave us ears a million years ago...
Now we finally get to use them to wear masks.
How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He ate his food before it was cool.
Go to BabaMail
