Earlier, I tried to sneak into the Star Trek convention disguised as the starship's doctor.
Security soon discoverd, however, I wasn't the real McCoy.
Doctor, I keep peeing my pants! What can I do?
Urologist: “It’s mind over matter, urine control.”
There’s a new drama featuring herbivore doctors.
It’s called Graze Anatomy.
What do you call Vietnamese animal doctors?
Vietnam Vets.
Ya know, I was supposed to be a doctor.
But I just didn’t have the patience.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t PEELING well.
Me: I have an appointment to see the doctor.
Nurse: which doctor?
Me: No, just the regular one
Doctor: Are you aware of your sodium intake?
Me: Na.
Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains
Doctor: Pull yourself together
What kind of doctor is always available?
An on-call-ogist.
The best way to a man's heart is through his stomach."
The surgeon was fired later that day.
Who is the coolest Doctor in the hospital?
The hip Doctor!
Who is the second coolest man in hospital?
The hip replacement guy!
The doctor told me I shouldn’t eat alphabet soup.
I suffer from irritable vowel syndrome.
Why was the doctor doing diarrhia research scared?
He had seen some sh*t go down.
I went to see my Doctor this morning and told him "The tablets you gave me to stop me shrinking aren't working".
He said, “You'll just have to be a little patient then”.
Why did the doctor tell the nurse to walk past the pill cupboard quietly?
So she wouldn’t wake the sleeping pills.
Doctor: Your brain seems to have deleted all info about 80s music!
Man: Yikes! What’s The Cure?
Doctor: Darn, it’s worse than I thought.
I dated a doctor once. Big mistake.
She was a Psycho.
Patient: ‘Doctor, I’ve swallowed a spoon.’
Doctor: ‘Sit down and don’t stir.’
My doctor told me that his job is easy because he can heal all of his patients with trigonometry.
He has a sinecure.
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