Doctor 1: what’s his body temperature?
Doctor 2: it’s 90 degrees.
Doctor 1: What?! That’s can’t be right!
Doctor 2: No, it is.
When I woke up from my accident, I was shocked when the doctors told me I broke all my fingers.
It was hard to grasp.
Why didn't Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough? Because a cold never bothered her anyway.
I ride share to work regularly, but if I'm in the backseat when we go through a tunnel I have a massive anxiety attack.
My doctor diagnosed me with Carpool Tunnel Syndrome.
Me: I have an appointment to see the doctor.
Nurse: which doctor?
Me: No, just the regular one
The doctor told me I shouldn’t eat alphabet soup.
I suffer from irritable vowel syndrome.
I dated a doctor once. Big mistake.
She was a Psycho.
Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains
Doctor: Pull yourself together
2 years ago, the doctor told me I was losing my hearing.
Haven't heard from him since then.
Doctor: Your brain seems to have deleted all info about 80s music!
Man: Yikes! What’s The Cure?
Doctor: Darn, it’s worse than I thought.
Her name is Carly and she's a doctor
maybe I should C A Rly good doctor.
Once there was a doctor who got shot. He adamantly wanted to perform surgery on himself, despite all of the other surgeons saying that he shouldn't.
But he was so insistent that they finally said "Fine, suture self."
Doctor, Doctor! I'm terrified of words that are also letters!
Oh you are? I see. Why?
"Doctor Doctor I feel like a supermarket"
How long have you been feeling like this?
"Since I was Lidl."
What is a doctor's favorite element?
Healium.
He used to be a doctor but he lost his patience.
What do you call a doctor who became a delivery driver?
MedEx
I went to see my Doctor this morning and told him "The tablets you gave me to stop me shrinking aren't working".
He said, “You'll just have to be a little patient then”.
Did you know that doctors that perform circumscisions don’t make a lot of money for those operations?
They only get paid in tips.
What do you call Vietnamese animal doctors?
Vietnam Vets.