What does a straw and a view have in common?
You can get a paper straw and you can also get pay per view.
What did the cake say to start the fight with the fork?
You want a piece of me?
A kitchen knife and fork had a race. Who won? Neither, it ended in a drawer.
Do you know why the boy didn't want to become a cheese slicer like his brother?
He wanted to become a grater man.
Who will lead the army of drawing utensils?
The ruler.
What do Santa’s elves cook with in the kitchen?
A u-tinsel.
My friend just got 3 kittens named Spoon, Fork, and Knife. When I asked why those names, they smiled and said, "Isn't it obvious?"
"They're catlery"
Cube cheese is good, and slices are fine...
But personally I think shredded is grater.
I heard this pun about a cheese grater the other day...
It was a grate joke.
Why does the superhero shred his cheese?
For the grater good.
Last night while cooking, my serving spoon's handle broke off. My husband walked in and said:
How very un-ladle-like!
My eating utensils were forged from forged steel, so don't mess with me or I'll fork you up.
My wife was scratching the glass jar with a metal spoon...
It was jarring!!!
What do you call a collection of bones made out of kitchenware?
A skillet-ton.
What happened to the dull knife's application?
It was turned down, he just couldn't make the cut.
When my doc said that my kitchenware diet was bad for my bowels, I crapped my pans.
Asked my friend why a knife is his favourite utensil.
He said “a spoon and a fork just don’t cut it”.
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
What did the cutlery maker say when he lost some metal?
Silverware?!
Took my giant spoon to my cooking class last night. It caused quite a stir.
How do Chinese people make cutlery?
They chopsticks.
Why didn’t the cheese want to get sliced?
It had grater plans.
Why was the cheese happy in the kitchen?
He thought he was grater than everyone else.
How do you call clothings for spoons?
Silverwear
why did the spoon show up dressed as a knife ?
Invitation said to look sharp.
I was washing the dishes today and got so frustrated I screamed into a collander.
I think I strained my voice.
Someone took all my straw
What a Hay-nous act!
My wife wants to start selling kitchenware online.
I just don't see it panning out.
I almost got into a fight with a bendy straw.
When I put it in my drink, it tried to flex on me.
How do you make cheese even better?
You use a cheese grater of course!
What did the plate say to the fork? Lunch is on me.
I was cutting cheese into very small pieces with a knife. The knife was great but a machine to help would’ve been grater.
I got tired of fighting straw...
So I hit the hay.
I watched an eclipse through my colander, now I’ve strained my eyes.
Where do you bury dead cutlery?
In it's final resting plates.
I lost my kid in the kitchenware section of Ikea today.
It was a pans labyrinth.
What do you call a bad cheese grater?
A cheese lesser.
My wife got a straw for her drink...
When she sat down, she took a sip, and frustratedly sighed "My straw has a hole in it!"
I replied "I should hope it has two!"
Yesterday, I bought my wife a cheese grater to use on cheddar and parmesan, both of which I hate.
It was the grater of two evils.
When whisking something, do it with caution.
It’s whisky business.
I was on the road yesterday with my metal detector looking for some cutlery....
I found plenty of spoons and knives but I didn't stop, until I hit a fork in the road.
"This is the last straw!"
I shouted to my wife as I put it in my drink...
Which drawing utensil is the fastest?
The e-racer.
Had to my dinner with just a knife and spoon last night...
It wasn't easy, but that's a fork-gone conclusion.
What's the best type of spoon?
I'll tell you ladle.
I went into the kitchen and found that someone replaced all the cutting utensils with spoons
That wasn't knife.
One of my kitchen utensils seems to be playing classical music.
Think it’s the Chopin board.
How did the cutlery greet the steak?
Knife to meat you!
So my brother is grating cheese for a dip. He looks up and says,
"I'm the gratest."
Why were the utensils stuck together?
They were spooning.