What do you call a bad cheese grater?
A cheese lesser.
When you lick the icing off a spoon are you defrosting it?
My eating utensils were forged from forged steel, so don't mess with me or I'll fork you up.
My wife wants to start selling kitchenware online.
I just don't see it panning out.
How do you call clothings for spoons?
Silverwear
Why was the cheese happy in the kitchen?
He thought he was grater than everyone else.
"This is the last straw!"
I shouted to my wife as I put it in my drink...
I heard this pun about a cheese grater the other day...
It was a grate joke.
So my brother is grating cheese for a dip. He looks up and says,
"I'm the gratest."
Which drawing utensil is the fastest?
The e-racer.
I'm going around with a bent knife, so that when I'm short on time, I can cut corners.
Do you know why the boy didn't want to become a cheese slicer like his brother?
He wanted to become a grater man.
One of my kitchen utensils seems to be playing classical music.
Think it’s the Chopin board.
When my doc said that my kitchenware diet was bad for my bowels, I crapped my pans.
I got tired of fighting straw...
So I hit the hay.
When I was a student, I was worried that my housemates would be annoyed if I ran off with some of their kitchen utemsils. But that was a whisk I was willing to take.
I was on the road yesterday with my metal detector looking for some cutlery....
I found plenty of spoons and knives but I didn't stop, until I hit a fork in the road.
I lost my kid in the kitchenware section of Ikea today.
It was a pans labyrinth.
I almost got into a fight with a bendy straw.
When I put it in my drink, it tried to flex on me.
Why did the female chef win the cook-off?
Because cheese grater!
Someone stole my cutlery set, but we were unable to identify the thief
It was stainless steel.
Took my giant spoon to my cooking class last night. It caused quite a stir.
Got a puncture in my tyre the other day. Think it was at the fork in the road.
Where do you bury dead cutlery?
In it's final resting plates.
I’ve been experimenting with attaching various kitchen utensils to my power drill
I got mixed results.
Why were the utensils stuck together?
They were spooning.
Yesterday, I bought my wife a cheese grater to use on cheddar and parmesan, both of which I hate.
It was the grater of two evils.
A tuning fork is, essentially, a pitch fork.
Last night while cooking, my serving spoon's handle broke off. My husband walked in and said:
How very un-ladle-like!
A piece of cheese sees his cheese friend looking a little disheveled. “Are you OK?” he asks.
“I’ve felt grater”, his friend coughed.
I used to work at a cutlery store, but I quit
No more Mr. Knife guy.
When whisking something, do it with caution.
It’s whisky business.
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
My wife got a straw for her drink...
When she sat down, she took a sip, and frustratedly sighed "My straw has a hole in it!"
I replied "I should hope it has two!"
What did the cutlery maker say when he lost some metal?
Silverware?!
What do Santa’s elves cook with in the kitchen?
A u-tinsel.
How did the cutlery greet the steak?
Knife to meat you!
Why can't you use a wooden spoon in a Teflon pan?
Because its non stick.
I downloaded a colander app instead of a calendar and now my battery keeps draining.
What do you call a knife that cuts 4 loaves of Irish bread at once?
A four loaf cleaver!
My friend has an excellent nose for wine...
It's shaped like a corkscrew!
What do you call a collection of bones made out of kitchenware?
A skillet-ton.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk.
Have you ever tried sticking a fork in a socket?
The results may shock you
I ate a spoon of food color...
Now i'm dying inside.
Why can't we make jokes about the cutlery incident?
It's too spoon.
Why did the fork feel kinky near the spoon?
Because it was a tease spoon.
How do you call a straw used for drinking orangeade?
Fantastick.
What did the cake say to start the fight with the fork?
You want a piece of me?
My wife was scratching the glass jar with a metal spoon...
It was jarring!!!