Did you hear about the watchmaker who is half Spanish and half Irish?
His name is Juan O'Clock.
My collection of Swiss watches was stolen in Spain.
Adios Omegas.
What do they call the Hunger Games in France?
Battle Royale with Cheese.
A soda can, a gas tank and the Greek god Eros walked into a bar?
The bartender shook his head, “Here comes trouble.” A patron at the bar said, “What’s wrong?” The bartender replied, “Those guys get together and they become cantankeros.”
Where do recluses live in Spain?
Barceloner.
French fries aren’t cooked in France
They’re cooked in greece.
Why is research more trustworthy if it comes from France?
It's Pierre-reviewed.
In Ancient Greece, people who had beliefs contrary to the worship of Poseidon were executed for Heresea.
Why do they eat snail in France?
Because they don’t have fast food.
Why did everyone want to go to Italy during World War II?
They were Fascistanating.
I used to be a personal driver in France
But now I have nothing to chauffeur it.
The Greeks make the best cheese
You feta believe it!
What did the Spanish fireman call his two sons?
José and Hose-B.
The 70s/80s aesthetic has recently become pretty popular in France.
They say it has a certain Gen X sais quoi.
Did you hear that Mexicans created a machine that dispenses fish?
They call it a pez dispenser.
How come there are no automatic cars in Spain?
They’re all Manuel.
Did you know that the Greek god Chronos was in the Mafia?
He was the Don of Time itself!
My friend learned Spanish by jotting sentences repeatedly...
He used wrote learning.
Some people say Greece should stop using the euro as currency...
I think they're being over-drachmatic.
My son claims that he identifies as an ancient Greek string instrument.
Frankly, I think he's a lyre.
From up here, I Cannes see the whole French Riviera!
What do you call the Greek God of Mexican chickens?
Apollo
My boss brought bagels for breakfast and asked me which one I wanted. I said "give me one of the Spanish bagels". He responded " One of the Spanish Bagels?"
"Ay poppy."
So you live in the seventh most populous city in France?
Must be Nice.
France is beautiful in every Cezanne.
Did you hear of the new disease going through France?
I've heard it was a Paris-ite.
I read Reims of info before I got here, but nothing can prepare you for how beautiful this place is.
Did you hear about the Frenchman who jumped into the river in Paris?
He was declared to be in Seine.
Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus.
So I asked my Spanish friend if he knew where fish lived.
He said "Si."
Can I go to France this year? Of Corsican!
What is a female "Douchebag" in France called??
A douche-baguette.
How do you get in contact with a Greek architect?
You column.
What happens when you go to the bathroom in France?
European!
Building Inspectors should be stricter in Pisa, Italy.
Since they are a bit too *lean*ient.
My son asked me, what’s a Greek urn?
I said, “about 20 drachmas a day.”
I saw this beautiful tower in Italy..
It was a Pisa art!
What does a Greek God say when they answer the phone?
"Whodisious?"
Son: "Dad, why'd you name me Odysseus? He's from greek mythology."
Dad: "Well son, you broke through the trojan wall."
Why did Italy surrender in WW2?
Because Italics aren't bold.
What's in the middle of Paris?
R.
If you don’t have a lot of figurines from Ancient Greek mythology, I can give you a mini tour.
What was Michael Jackson's favorite Spanish food?
Jamon!
What do you call a sneezing big foot in Spanish?
Achoopacabra.
If you want to vacation in Italy, don't be afraid to Rome around.
Everyone knows the Italians invented pizza but few know that it was perfected by French rebels in nazi occupied France during WWII.
It was the pizza de resistance.
It’s lonely between Germany and Spain
Not many France, nobody’s Nice to me, everyone seems to be Lyon. It’s just Eiffel.
I'm a supervillain from Italy, I have the power to infect people with deadly diseases.
It’s-a-me, Malario.
It’s time to say Versailles to France.
What do you call someone from Spain who lives near the Portuguese border?
Span-ish.
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