Did you hear about the computer virus that was programmed by a cat?
It's considered meowware!
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
I got a asked to leave karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" seven times in a row. I had exceeded the allowed number of Loggins attempts.
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
Computers can be very good at golf because of their hard drives.
How do you come up with a secure password to protect yourself against hackers?
Just make it the last 10 digits of pi.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
Why are wooden hard drives so bad?
They're all bark and no byte.
What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
I was dating a keyboard but we had to break up...
...she just wasn't my type.
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
My computer's favorite singer is A Dell.
Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I couldn't keep the space clean.
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
I took all the punctuation marks off of the judge's keyboard.
I expect a long sentence.
What do you call a solar powered keyboard?
A photosynthesiser
Where are dramatic hard drives from?
Oh I/O
I hate hard drives...
...they byte
Where do all the cool mice live? In their mousepads.
Hey baby, are you a cloud server?
Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.
How many wipes does it take to clean a keyboard?
qwsedrftgyhujikolpawesdrtfgyhujikloaszxdcrfvgtbhnjmk,lazsxdcfvgsedtfrgyftg67y78u87u8uii9op[;'';;'/;l/l;.l.k,lkmjkmertyudfghjk12q21q2qw3qwe3we4r45rt6ygerdgfvbwedfcv qwedfscv
I hate it when planes don't have free WiFi.
It drives me bored air line crazy.
People need to be careful about computers at all times because they byte.
My brother, who is an IT guy, got surgery done on his fingers. Now he can truly be called a tech-knuckle support guy.
My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
Up until now, I always thought that all the cool mice would get together and live in my mousepad. Now when I know the truth, I feel quite broken.
The computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
Just can't get away from my broken keyboard. There's no escape.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None because it's a hardware issue.
Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
A router and a modem got married.
They were pronounced husbandwidth and Wifi.
This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..
.. I was fried for no raisin.
I am really good with PowerPoint because I Excel at it.
My computer is so slow it's running in the '90s.
My wifi password is the cat's birthday month
Feb-paw-hairy
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
What happens when you turn on a computer?
You turn it's floppy disk into a hard disk.
How do lumberjacks shut down their computers?.
They log off.
V
V
Edit*: sorry it seems as the CTRL button on my keyboard isn't working
Q. Where do computers keep their money?
A. In a data bank.
The rancher's Wifi wasn't working so he moved the router to the barn...
Now he has a stable connection
I had no one to help me when my computer and phone mutinied
I was left to my own devices.
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
My father said that there was a bug on my computer. The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.
I'm really obsessed with the F1 key on my keyboard. I'm trying to get help.
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