What do Russians call a bad WiFi connection?
Inter-NIET
How do you come up with a secure password to protect yourself against hackers?
Just make it the last 10 digits of pi.
What key on the keyboard is truly out of this world?
The spacebar.
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys.
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
If a cat broke your computer...
Would it be that an error has o-purred ?
I got a asked to leave karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" seven times in a row. I had exceeded the allowed number of Loggins attempts.
I didn't know WiFi stood for Wireless Fidelity.
I guess I just didn't get the connection.
If you used a keyboard with built-in speakers, you would be...?
Stereotyping.
How does a computer learn something new?
Bit by bit.
Q. What happened when the computer geeks met?
A. It was love at first site!
The computer wanted to get out of the house, so it used the Windows.
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
Why did the computer wear glasses?
To improve its web sight.
Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
I imagine eventually there will be a day when we have a WiFi hotspot on Mt. Everest.
Only then will we reach peak internet.
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
What is the favorite snack of a programmer, it's undoubtedly Cadbury bytes.
I want anarchy
Because my keyboard is missing one.
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
Q. What did the computer say to the cookie?
A. "Can I have your chocolate chip?"
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
It's so refreshing.
Why did the computer squeak? Because someone stepped on its mouse!
Where are dead computer hackers buried?
In decrypt.
*Creating password*
"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"
ERROR: [Password two week]
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
Why was the IT guy in the hospital?
He touched the firewall.
What was Hitler's favorite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
My email password has been hacked again
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
I left my job at the keyboard factory today. To be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.
My kid asked why I named our WiFi "ship"?
But that's how everything syncs.
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can't rush the progress.
Chrome wasn't built in a day.
My brother, who is an IT guy, got surgery done on his fingers. Now he can truly be called a tech-knuckle support guy.
My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use. Now I have a screen-saver at my house.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
I left my laptop outside on the picnic table, and when I came back, the keyboard was covered in ants...
...It took a while to herd them together but I finally got them all under control.
Did you like my HTTP 200 joke?
It was OK.
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
It doesn't matter if my wife tells me Im not mature
Im not going to let her enter my tree house without the right password.
My doctor must think I have a bad hard drive
He said he needed to C:
What did the WiFi router say when it was unplugged?
"Tell my wifi love her
What do you call a program that uses every possible combination to crack a password?
A battering R.A.M.
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
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