I can relate to my computer so much. Even I go to sleep after 25mins of inactivity.
A good workman doesn't blame his fools
\*tools.
Stupid keyboard.
Why was the computer late to work? Because it had a hard drive!
If cheese were downloadable, then I'd try to throw my hard drive as far as possible.
What I'm saying is, I'd chuck e-cheese.
So, if I heat my solid state hard drive until it becomes a gaseous state hard drive
Would that mean I'm doing cloud computing?
Today my "O" button on my keyboard stopped working.
Maybe it was a sign I should've stopped o-ppressing the keyboard.
I felt sad for my brother's computer being overclocked because I heard the processor say, "Stop it! It hertz so much!".
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
It's so refreshing.
I took all the punctuation marks off of the judge's keyboard.
I expect a long sentence.
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
What do you call a program that uses every possible combination to crack a password?
A battering R.A.M.
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
*Creating password*
"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"
ERROR: [Password two week]
Do you know the band 1023 megabytes?
They haven't had a gig yet.
What happens when you turn on a computer?
You turn it's floppy disk into a hard disk.
Are you WiFi?
Because I can feel the connection between us.
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
What was Hitler's favorite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
My partner got mad when she found so much spam on my computer.
She said, "Food belongs on a plate!"
What do you call a gushing keyboard?
sqwerty
Apparently my password needs to be capitals only so I've changed it to LONDONMADRIDROME.
I got a asked to leave karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" seven times in a row. I had exceeded the allowed number of Loggins attempts.
The computer wanted to get out of the house, so it used the Windows.
A few punny Wifi names you can use:
Wi-Fight the Inevitable
Chance the Router
The LAN Before Time
Silence of the LAN
I Believe Wi Can Fi
The Password is...
Click Here to Download
Get off my LAN
Router? I Hardly Knew Her
Definitely Not Wifi
Why was the hard drive scared of the large file?
Because it was a terror-byte.
How do you come up with a secure password to protect yourself against hackers?
Just make it the last 10 digits of pi.
Why did the computer spy get fired?
She couldn't hack it.
Why are boy keyboards scared of girl keyboards?
They don't want to get qwerties.
How does a computer learn something new?
Bit by bit.
How do lumberjacks shut down their computers?.
They log off.
German Wi-Fi is the WURST.
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.
Hey baby, are you a cloud server?
Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.
When my father complained to my mother for never picking or dropping me at school, she looked at him and said, "You are the master of drag and drop, my love". He's an IT specialist...
Why was the old computer sad?
Because it had a floppy disk.
Did you hear about the keyboard that lost it's Period Key?
He was missing the point.
Why was the IT guy in the hospital?
He touched the firewall.
I dropped my computer on my foot.
It mega-hurts.
The rancher's Wifi wasn't working so he moved the router to the barn...
Now he has a stable connection
Which hard drive is always the happiest?
Disk C:
Clean water is like password
Not everyone has access to it.
'what's the Wifi password?'
'Its for security'
'Haha, yes, I know that. But what's the password?'.
'No, it's 'forsecurity'. All one word, lower case.'.
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!
I didn't know WiFi stood for Wireless Fidelity.
I guess I just didn't get the connection.
In an attempt to deter computer hackers I've changed all my passwords to 'Brazil Nut'
That will be a hard one to crack.
Why did the computer squeak? Because someone stepped on its mouse!
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
Which keyboard shortcut doesn't work if you're incontinent?
Ctrl-P
Go to BabaMail
