Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus
I was midway between the bow and the stern of my 120 foot yacht when suddenly I was surrounded by submarines that just surfaced...
I was amidship man.
What do you call a dog in a submarine?
A subwoofer.
What is a car’s favourite bug?
A beetle.
Read a story about two people who stole cars driving into each other.
Must have been Bonnie and Collide
Passenger: One ticket to New York, please.
Bus Driver: By way of Buffalo?
Passenger: No, by bus!
Who should drive home out of the two friends?
The one who is not tired.
Driving behind an ambulance, I watched a box fall off the back. I checked inside and there was a foot in it, so I decided to call a toe truck.
Every morning when I leave home, a bike comes from somewhere and runs me over. It’s a vicious cycle.
51. What does a car yell when something goes wrong?
‘Jesus Chrysler!’
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
‪My kid’s toy submarine was having trouble staying under water...‬
‪I hope this will not surface again‬
How do you spot a car made by Apple?
It does not have Windows.
I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift. Thing is, I couldn’t find a manual.
How do you sink a submarine full of fools?
You knock on the door.
Why is it so expensive to run a submarine?
It's the depth charges.
What is a car’s favourite job?
Caretaker.
A silent man walked into a bicycle shop...
He picked up a wheel and spoke.
55. How do you tell a car you are supporting it?
‘We are routing for you!’
Honda is oldest car make in the world. It was mentioned in the bible!
"And the apostles were all in Accord"
How do eels travel across the seafloor? By Octo-bus.
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire
Authorities have been trying to figure out how the Worcestershire sauce truck spilled...
But it's hard to say...
In Mexico, truck drivers always keep a wheel of cheese in their cabs. Apparently this is in queso emergencies.
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
Carlos.
My partner has been having nightmares that he’s a truck. He always wakes up tyred and exhaust-ed.
A truck full of christmas trees have been stolen.
Police admit they are stumped.
What is a car’s favourite film?
Taxi.
Why did the submarine driver lose his job
Old, racist tweets resurfaced
We get fed up of long car journeys...
...meanwhile, truck drivers get fed ex.
My race time today was much better than yesterday. I was in a whole different gear.
I knew a submarine sailor who wasn't very talkative or energetic
He was a subdued sub dude.
What do you get when you cross a Tambourine with a Submarine?
The Salvation Navy
What is a car’s favourite movie character?
Aerial from The Little Mermaid.
Why should you be cautious of a Finnish submarine captain?
He’ll sink ye.
I tried to make a wooden submarine.
It didn't go down so well.
What is a car’s preferred TV program?
The Driving Dead.
Baby dump trucks have the cutest name – they’re called dumplings.
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
What did the Wife say to the Husband?
You are exhausting!
I did a good deed today by giving up my seat on the bus to an elderly lady...
How was I supposed to know she’d never driven a bus before?
What do all French cars come with as standard?
A spare wheel of cheese.
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was 2-tired.
A truck carrying thesauruses crashed on a motorway near my house. All the onlookers were startled, shocked, amazed, speechless and dumbfounded.
What color are military submarines?
Deep navy
My Dad drove a truck for 32 years.
He was terrible with directions.
Driving a truck carrying cutlery is easy – as soon as you see the fork in the road, you know you’re there.
What are the benefits of city buses using green fuel? They’ll always be on thyme.
A man is wanted for stealing tires off of cop cars.
Police are working tirelessly to catch him.
What’s the hardest part about working as a bus driver? Everyone’s talking behind your back.
What do French cars wear as hats?
Bonnets.