Something is Wrong With My Bicycle,
it doesn't Go Straight.
Mum said I would never be able to make a bicycle out of spaghetti
Well I did, and you should’ve seen her face when I rode pasta
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck...
It was a camel tow
Ice cream trucks are pretty hardy, but they will break down if they drive over the rocky road.
How to cars convince you?
By telling you that ‘you Audi-believe it.’
It's pretty obvious, that if you run in front of a moving car, you will get tired. But if you run behind it..
..do you just get exhausted ?
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
What do you call a truck towing a smaller truck?
A mother trucker
What do you call a row of 5 tow trucks?
A foot.
Milk trucks always drive so fast, don’t they? You blink and they’re already pasteurize.
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
Every morning when I leave home, a bike comes from somewhere and runs me over. It’s a vicious cycle.
What happens when you run in front of a bus?
You get tired.
What happens when you run behind a bus?
You get exhausted.
A police officer knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bicycles what rubbish my dog doesn’t even own a bike.
What do cars have on toast.
Butter and traffic jam.
What is the collective noun for cars?
Pack of cars.
What did the teacher say when he could not get into his car?
‘Oh no, I have lost my Kias!’
What do they play at the beginning of a car movie?
The trailer.
How is the submarine doing at school?
It's below c-level
The local motorway has become blocked after a truck shed it's load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes.
Police say the traffic is pretty stationery...
What’s the difference between a school bus driver and a winter cold? One knows all the stops, and the other stops the nose.
Why did the girl break up with the boy?
He was driving her crazy!
We all have a submarine in our heads but we're not supposed to think about it. It's all sub-conscious.
What did the Wife say to the Husband?
You are exhausting!
Baby dump trucks have the cutest name – they’re called dumplings.
Officer: “I’m sorry sir, it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck.”
Me: ”Yeah I know, but she’s got a great personality though!”
I heard they’re remaking one of the Lord of the Rings movies, but everyone rides around on bicycles instead of horses.
They’re calling it The Two Tires
Why did the tricycle not hang out with the bicycles?
It felt like a third wheel
I had a nasty crash with a truck carrying construction equipment the other day. It really hit me like a ton of bricks.
How advanced are the inner workings of a submarine?
It goes very deep
What do you call it when a truck of tortoises crashes into an aquarium?
A turtle disaster.
A car carrying bank robbers and a truck carrying cement collided yesterday. Police are now searching for hardened criminals.
Bus ticket inspectors: You’ve really got to hand it to them.
I knew a submarine sailor who wasn't very talkative or energetic
He was a subdued sub dude.
Why did the bus driver take a long break? He needed a wheel-y good rest!
When I asked the bus driver for directions, it was a 'bus stop' service!
I have to pay for a bus ticket?
I guess it's only fare
I saw a sign on the bus the other day.
It said "please give this seat to the elderly."
So I ripped it out and took it home for my grandad
What do you call a perfect submarine?
Sub-optimal.
Why did the submarines feelings get hurt?
Because they keep calling it a dipship
Why is it so expensive to run a submarine?
It's the depth charges.
I told my boyfriend I'd missed the bus.
He asked me what I was trying to hit it with.
I rode my bike so much, I had to put a new set of wheels on it. I was about to put a third set on it, but the old bike didn’t work anymore. which is understandable. The bike was already retired.
I have a buddy who was recently hit by a bus, while promoting pedestrian safety.The surgeons had to replace all the joints in his left leg with metal.
I think it's safe to say he can appreciate the iron knee
55. How do you tell a car you are supporting it?
‘We are routing for you!’
What color are military submarines?
Deep navy
I hopped on the bus yesterday afternoon. After a few minutes, the driver asked me to sit down like everyone else
What are police cars made of?
Copper
How did cars walk on to Noah’s Ark?
4X4.