What superhero takes public transportation to get around? Bus Lightyear.
What did the teacher say when he could not get into his car?
‘Oh no, I have lost my Kias!’
What is a car’s favourite bug?
A beetle.
Why should you be cautious of a Finnish submarine captain?
He’ll sink ye.
Unbelievably there was yet another truck crash, this time it was carrying Vicks VapoRub. There was no congestion for the rest of the day.
There are more planes under the oceans than there are submarines up in the skies. Let that sink in...
What did the Wife say to the Husband?
You are exhausting!
I'd steer clear of dating a dyslexic bus driver.
Sure, they may take you places, but there'll be mixed signals along the way.
How did cars protect themselves during the medieval age?
They would dig an M.O.T. around them.
The bus driver was so friendly and nice, it was a 'joy ride'!
Did you know there were cars in America before Christopher Columbus arrived?
The Cherokees.
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire
How to tell a car it has gained weight?
‘You have got Fiat.’
What do they play at the beginning of a car movie?
The trailer.
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was 2-tired.
Tesla just announced they’ll be including a bottle of their new cologne now with every car sold
It’s called Elon’s Musk
My bike chain got rusted. Then my whole bicycle broke down. It was a chain reaction.
Ice cream trucks are pretty hardy, but they will break down if they drive over the rocky road.
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
The librarian's office was on the A level. I asked for a book about submarines.
She told me to look below C level.
What do you call a bus full of smart people?
A Scholarship
Officer: “I’m sorry sir, it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck.”
Me: ”Yeah I know, but she’s got a great personality though!”
My wife said she saved $5 by not taking a bus and walking home
I said, you could've saved a $20 by not taking a cab instead
What do you call a big queue of trucks, making cheesy one-liners? A pick-up line.
What do you call a guy who only rides children's bicycles?
A pedalphile
How can you tell if a car is from Switzerland?
It remains in neutral.
What are police cars made of?
Copper
Every morning when I leave home, a bike comes from somewhere and runs me over. It’s a vicious cycle.
What should you double check when buying an electric car?
That your driving license is current.
What is a car’s favourite fashion accessory?
A clutch bag.
What do you call a truck towing a smaller truck?
A mother trucker
Today was a terrible day. First my ex got hit by a bus.
Then I lost my job as a driver.
Ship Captain: Guys, I need help. I don’t remember how to write 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I Captain.
Why was the bus musician so excited? He just got a 'ride-ing' ovation!
Honda is oldest car make in the world. It was mentioned in the bible!
"And the apostles were all in Accord"
What happens when a frogs car breaks down?
It has to be toad away.
What do French cars wear as hats?
Bonnets.
What happens when you run in front of a bus?
You get tired.
What happens when you run behind a bus?
You get exhausted.
If you ride your bike twice a day, is that recycling?
How do eels travel across the seafloor? By Octo-bus.
What did the girl say before making a big decision?
‘Do not pressure me.’
What color are military submarines?
Deep navy
How does a car tell you to get out?
‘Get out, or I shall give you the boot.’
A man is wanted for stealing tires off of cop cars.
Police are working tirelessly to catch him.
Anyone who is born in a car and dies outside is known as car born die oxide.
Driving a truck carrying cutlery is easy – as soon as you see the fork in the road, you know you’re there.
Another truck crashed further down the road; this one was carrying wigs. The police are combing the area.
Baby dump trucks have the cutest name – they’re called dumplings.
Why did the tricycle not hang out with the bicycles?
It felt like a third wheel
Why couldn’t the submarine commander get to the surface after joining Reddit?
He couldn’t get any up-boats