There are more planes under the oceans than there are submarines up in the skies. Let that sink in...
What is a car’s favourite movie character?
Aerial from The Little Mermaid.
How do eels travel across the seafloor? By Octo-bus.
Have you heard about Amazon’s plan to make intercontinental shipments using electric submarine drones?
They’re projecting a large increase in e-fish-in-sea.
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
I rode my bike so much, I had to put a new set of wheels on it. I was about to put a third set on it, but the old bike didn’t work anymore. which is understandable. The bike was already retired.
I always like to keep a jar of peanut butter in the car when I travel on a busy freeway ...
just in case there’s a traffic jam.
What do you call a row of 5 tow trucks?
A foot.
I hopped on the bus yesterday afternoon. After a few minutes, the driver asked me to sit down like everyone else
What made the truck driver finally stop farting?
He ran out of gas.
My partner has been having nightmares that he’s a truck. He always wakes up tyred and exhaust-ed.
Why do you only drive automatics?
‘I could never find a manual.’
I heard that a truck carrying Scrabble tiles has just overturned… Well, that’s the word on the street, anyway.
It's pretty obvious, that if you run in front of a moving car, you will get tired. But if you run behind it..
..do you just get exhausted ?
Unbelievably there was yet another truck crash, this time it was carrying Vicks VapoRub. There was no congestion for the rest of the day.
My wife said she saved $5 by not taking a bus and walking home
I said, you could've saved a $20 by not taking a cab instead
What do the Scottish cars wear as hats?
Flat-caps.
A truck carrying thesauruses crashed on a motorway near my house. All the onlookers were startled, shocked, amazed, speechless and dumbfounded.
In Mexico, truck drivers always keep a wheel of cheese in their cabs. Apparently this is in queso emergencies.
In this day and age of technological breakthroughs, we surely can’t be far from a country song where a guy’s self-driving truck leaves him too.
The local motorway has become blocked after a truck shed it's load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes.
Police say the traffic is pretty stationery...
A car company tried to make a submarine, but it kept surfacing too quickley
The crew got the Mercedes-Bends
What color are military submarines?
Deep navy
A police officer knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bicycles what rubbish my dog doesn’t even own a bike.
How do you sink a submarine full of fools?
You knock on the door.
I hit a crow in my truck one day, and it flew into the next lane and landed on a police car. I was ticketed for flipping the officer the bird.
Do you know why the U.S. Navy always keeps at least two canaries on board each of their submarines?
Because everyone knows that if you have a big sub you also need a good set of tweeters.
What is a car’s favourite film?
Taxi.
What do you call a murder where the perp runs away on a bicycle?
A drive bike shooting
Did you hear about the submarine industry?
It really took a dive...
Authorities have been trying to figure out how the Worcestershire sauce truck spilled...
But it's hard to say...
It’s never great taking a truck driver to the cinema to watch a film. They only really like the trailers.
What do you call a big queue of trucks, making cheesy one-liners? A pick-up line.
Driving behind an ambulance, I watched a box fall off the back. I checked inside and there was a foot in it, so I decided to call a toe truck.
My trucker friend was super excited about his new house. I asked him why, and he told me it had a really long haul way.
How did cars protect themselves during the medieval age?
They would dig an M.O.T. around them.
I told my boyfriend I'd missed the bus.
He asked me what I was trying to hit it with.
Another truck crashed further down the road; this one was carrying wigs. The police are combing the area.
Why is it so expensive to run a submarine?
It's the depth charges.
How does a car tell you to get out?
‘Get out, or I shall give you the boot.’
What do you call a drunk person fumbling with their car keys?
A taxi
If a police officer pulls a U-Haul truck over...
did he just bust a move?
Which films is the car’s favourite?
WiperBlade 1, 2 and Trinity.
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
Why was the bus musician so excited? He just got a 'ride-ing' ovation!
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