Passenger: One ticket to New York, please.
Bus Driver: By way of Buffalo?
Passenger: No, by bus!
Did you know there were cars in America before Christopher Columbus arrived?
The Cherokees.
A slat spreading truck knocked me off my bike last year. I yelled “You idiot!” through gritted teeth.
I saw a sign on the bus the other day.
It said "please give this seat to the elderly."
So I ripped it out and took it home for my grandad
Truck drivers have a great way of settling disputes – they only use their horns. It’s known as a fight to the deaf.
BREAKING NEWS: Vietnam accidentally sank its own submarine killing all 350 on board
Whoops, wrong sub.
What is a car’s favourite fashion accessory?
A clutch bag.
I have a question for people who take the bus...
Are you supposed to give it back?
Which car do sheep drive?
Su-baa-ru.
How do eels travel across the seafloor? By Octo-bus.
What is a car’s favourite element?
Carbon.
Why don’t cars enjoy long drives?
They find them a drag.
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was too tired..
Did you hear about the 2 Tow Truck drivers who wanted to elope?
They got hitched.
How advanced are the inner workings of a submarine?
It goes very deep
Every morning when I leave home, a bike comes from somewhere and runs me over. It’s a vicious cycle.
It's pretty obvious, that if you run in front of a moving car, you will get tired. But if you run behind it..
..do you just get exhausted ?
What do you get when you cross a Tambourine with a Submarine?
The Salvation Navy
What happens when you run in front of a bus?
You get tired.
What happens when you run behind a bus?
You get exhausted.
The bus driver was so friendly and nice, it was a 'joy ride'!
I tried driving a truck with a trailer that was attached without using the proper equipment.
It went off without a hitch.
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
A car company tried to make a submarine, but it kept surfacing too quickley
The crew got the Mercedes-Bends
My Dad drove a truck for 32 years.
He was terrible with directions.
A truck carrying Lego got into an accident on the motorway. No one knows what happened; the authorities are still trying to piece everything together.
Ice cream trucks are pretty hardy, but they will break down if they drive over the rocky road.
What do you call unwanted revealing comments about a movie?
Spoilers.
What is the collective noun for cars?
Pack of cars.
How does a flower propel a bicycle?
It petals!
What do you call a big queue of trucks, making cheesy one-liners? A pick-up line.
Bro, are you a submarine?
Because you're so gnar.
Why was the bus musician so excited? He just got a 'ride-ing' ovation!
Have you heard about the guys who stole a truck full of broccoli and cauliflower? They had to really floret to get away.
How do you know a car is a good price?
If it is a Ford-able.
Unbelievably there was yet another truck crash, this time it was carrying Vicks VapoRub. There was no congestion for the rest of the day.
What do they play at the beginning of a car movie?
The trailer.
I was midway between the bow and the stern of my 120 foot yacht when suddenly I was surrounded by submarines that just surfaced...
I was amidship man.
What do you call a dog in a submarine?
A subwoofer.
Why did the bus driver go to jail? He was 'wheely' breaking the law!
I’m trying to teach my son how to put the chain back on his bike but he still can’t seem to do it.
I guess it must be sprocket science.
Have you heard about Amazon’s plan to make intercontinental shipments using electric submarine drones?
They’re projecting a large increase in e-fish-in-sea.
What should you wear before driving?
The correct gear.
Something is Wrong With My Bicycle,
it doesn't Go Straight.
Why did the submarines feelings get hurt?
Because they keep calling it a dipship
I once had my identity stolen by a cement truck driver. It took me ages to track him down, but now I have concrete evidence.
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck...
It was a camel tow
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