Whats A tooth fairys favorite movie?
Jaws.
What do you call related toilet rolls that sleep together?
Napkins.
I'm good at manicures but bad at languages.
Although I think I would nail Polish.
I got shampoo in my eyes while showering today.
My husband said, "That must've been an eye-soapening experience."
I can't find my scrubber in the shower
It's aloof-ah
Gave my pet leopard a bath every day. Now he’s spotless.
Police are appealing to the man who stole all the soap from the supermarket
To come clean
I don't understand why Bed Bath & Beyond is considered a non-essential business.
Don't they carry essential oils?
I saved the exact location of my toilet on my computer.
It's labelled as my 'I Pee' address.
What do you call an East-European cosmetic?
Nail Polish.
What type of poo smells good?
Shampoo.
My family and I like to sleep during the day.
They are my napkin.
What do you call coffee made from poo?
Crappuccino.
What do you call a guy that has good manners, bad hygiene, and an affinity for word play?
PunGent.
When a guy sees another guy at a urinal and makes sure to go two spots away, it's called "social pisstancing".
I've seen a meteor shower,
but never seen a meteor take a bath.
Poo jokes...
Are funny sh**.
My dentist said that my oral hygiene wasn't up to scratch, so she recommended me a new toothpaste.
Now all I need is a toothbrush.
Why is your nose in the middle of your face?
Because it's the scenter.
I wonder...
How much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
Campground bathrooms are always behind the times.
They're all past tents.
Why is it a bad idea to swallow toothpaste?
Because you’ll destroy your stomach cavity!
Did you just hear that perfume bottle talk?
I think it's becoming scentient.
what's the best day of the week to poop?
saTURDay.
This morning my daughter came to me, looking concerned. She said, “Dad, I need a new bum”.
I asked, “And why is that sweetheart?”
She said, “Because mine has a crack in it!”
What do you call a tariff on skin?
A tax-a-dermis!
What do you call spooky mascara
Mascarea.
What bug has 100 legs and lives by the outhouse?
Scenta-Peed.
I tried to tell a joke about towels...
But people don’t like my dry humor.
I was alone in the bath.
Imagine my surprise when I felt a tap on my shoulder!
After my wife had a stressful day at work, I drew her a bath. She wasn't content.
I'm so upset, I even used color pencils for this.
As a plumber, I often have nightmares about the dripping faucet I can't fix and the toilet that will not flush ...
Safe to say I have pipe dreams!
I do not like lotion at all.
It really gets under my skin.
No matter what shampoo I use, I can’t seem to get rid of my dandruff.
It’s a real head scratcher.
The plumber was working on the side to become an artist.
Unfortunately, he couldn't find a faucet for his creativity.
Stayed in a posh hotel with towels so thick I could barely shut my suitcase.
Why don’t Satanic boats ever sink?
Because they’re Unholy.
My farts don’t smell, they don’t have noses.
The latest thing in flooring are these ductile floor tiles. They’re great because they’re flexible but...
They have a tendency to quack.
The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested.
I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence.
Why did the tooth see a therapist?
To get to the root of their problems.
Have you heard what happened to unemployed perfume makers?
They are not making any scents.
Toilet paper plays an important roll in my life, it would be pretty sh**ty without it.
It wasn’t my idea to get bidet...
But now I kinda like the little squirt.
Someone stole my fragrance-free lotion...
It was a scentless act of cruelty.
Which letters stand in line to the public restroom?
What do you call a bathroom line?
A P,Q.
My friend said he got a package containing soaps from around the world...
But it was a pack of lyes.
I was washing the car with my son, until he said...
“Dad, please, can’t you just use a sponge?”
When you walk into the bathroom...
Urine there.
How did dinosaurs clean their teeth?
With flossils.
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