What’s that Nevada city where all the dentists visit?
Floss Vegas.
Have you heard about the new his & hers toothpaste?
The flavor is "mint to be".
Do perfumes expire?
In essence, they do.
Where do cow farts come from?
The dairy air.
Did you hear about how deodorant lead to the capture of a cold war agent?
The scent of old spies gave him away.
I had to unclog my sink today.
I found it to be very draining.
If you poop in your sleep...
You have sleep crapnea.
What did one soap molecule say to the other soap molecule in prison?
"Get out. This is micelle"
Never fart in an apple store
They don't have windows.
I won a contest extracting the most water from a towel, I'm now known as the....
Lord of the Wrings.
Woke up this morning to a tap on my door.
That plumber has some sense of humour.
Did you see that meteor shower?
No, I respect others’ privacy.
I ran out of deodorant.
I guess I'll go online and odor some more.
I wonder...
How much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
What did Archimedes's girlfriend told him when he hadn't taken bath for several days?
Eu-reek-a
What do you call a tariff on skin?
A tax-a-dermis!
Dad asked if he could borrow my deodorant.
I said "sure, no sweat."
Police are appealing to the man who stole all the soap from the supermarket
To come clean
What do you call a cop standing on dog poo?
Officer on doody!
What did the judge say when a skunk walked into the courtroom?
"Odor in the court!"
My kid keeps forgetting to flush the toilet after he takes a dump.
"That s**t is getting old," I told him.
Did you just hear that perfume bottle talk?
I think it's becoming scentient.
I don't use shampoo when I wash my hair.
I'm a man - I use real poo.
Why did the burglar steal a bath? He wanted to make a clean getaway.
I finally realized why trees don’t have teeth.
Turns out, they’re all bark and no bite.
My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”
I'm burning a gold-scented candle.
It has a very rich aroma.
I cant use the urinals when there's a person next to me, I get pee-er pressure
Why Don't Gymnasts Use Towels?
Cause they dumbbell dry.
Why can’t a tile walk very well?
He has square feet.
As summer approaches, I think it’s a good idea to use two deodorants, one under each armpit.
But that’s just my two scents.
I want to open a doctors office with a nail salon inside.
It’ll be called “Many Cures and Manicures”.
I always start my day with makeup. It's the foundation for a good day, y'know? It covers up anything from yesterday and really sets things in place so I can powder through my work.
My wife is furious at me for buying an expensive make-your-own-perfume kit.
But it just made scents to me.
Saw a sign for bath plugs. I didn’t know that was electric!
I saved the exact location of my toilet on my computer.
It's labelled as my 'I Pee' address.
There was a group of ants that always went on parties together, but one smelled way worse than the others.
He was de odor ant.
What do you call a toilet perched on top of an active volcano?
The lavatory.
What kind of degree can you get at a urinal?
A Pee h.D.
All the toilets in the police station have disappeared and they are asking for witnesses.
They currently have nothing to go on.
After letting elephant dung dry in the sun, it's nearly indestructible.
In fact, I'd say it's pretty heavy doody.
How does the tooth fairy survive a hurricane? She braces for it.
When is it okay to wash your shoes in the toilet?
When there's a bidet. People use them to wash their booties.
I could have sworn that my skin had changed color
But it was just a pigment of my imagination.
I couldn't shave this morning because someone stole my mirror.
The police are looking into it.
Crooked teeth are criminal!
Luckily a few years behind bars usually straightens them out.
I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today.
It was clogged.
I’ve got a urinal that just won’t get serious...
It’s always taking the piss.
You wanna know how I remember every poop I take?
I keep a log.
My friend bought a different toothpaste this time...
It was a nice change of paste.
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