Have you heard the new song from the band that entirely consists of vegetables?
It’s a master peas.
My wife asked if I'd be available to drain some vegetables next week.
I said I'd check my colander.
What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
What do you call a depressed vegetable
Despairagus.
Time to celery-brate.
I must confess that I've started stealing vegetables from the local grocery...
I can't help it! I get to the store and I have to take a leek!
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
My friends and I are in search of some fresh vegetables puns.
Please lettuce know if you find any.
Egg-Plant a kiss on me.
Bad vegetable puns are dreadful.
It’s a truly rotten experience.
What do you call the Commander of a vegetable army?
A kernel.
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
My friend Jack claims that he can communicate with vegetables.
Jack and the beans talk.
Everybody romaine calm.
I hope for world peas.
Where does Thor grow his vegetables?
In his Asgarden.
You used to call me on my cell-ery phone.
This foundation is rock salad.
Why isn’t the tomato a vegetable?
It couldn’t catch up.
I've just been to court accused of sniffing the skins of vegetables and fruits.
I got off on a peel.
I think therefore I yam.
I've got a really good vegetable pun.
I’d tell you but I’m worried you’d think it’s too corny.
What do you call a communist vegetable
a soviet onion.
I need to take this picture for my instayam
What are a submissive's favorite vegetables?
Collared greens.
What are the best vegetables to sleep under?
a can of peas.
Are you a vegan?
'Cause I yam.
What do you call a pastor who wanders from town to town, looking for leafy green vegetables?
A romaine Catholic priest.