What do you get when you spice up date night? Netflix and Chilis.
How should you live your life? By seasoning the moment.
Where did the garlic clove go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
What do cloves use for money? Garlic "Bread."
How does the recipe for German Sauerbraten begin? "First invade ze kitchen."
What kind of socks do you need to plant cayenne pepper? Garden hose!
What vegetable is not allowed on ships? Leeks.
Why can't chefs play baseball? They always get caught trying to steal a basil.
When do you put paprika on eggs? Fry-Day.
My wife doesn't like spicy food and I think it's a cayenne shame.
Why did the farmer feed his pigs a mixture of sugar, vinegar, and soy sauce? He wanted sweet and sour pork.
Have you heard of the garlic diet? You don't lose much weight, but from a distance your friends think you look thinner!
What is a ghost peppers favorite Leonardo Dicaprio film? Catch me if you Cayenne.
How do you know you in "love" with spicy food? After getting to third basil.
What do you call a dinosaur that drinks curry? A Mega-sore-arse.
Who did the Caribbean jerk fall in love with? The Spice Girl next door.
How does a restaurant get the freshest ingredients? They cut a dill.
What does a good spice rack help you win? The Hunger Games.
I caught the chef sticking his hand in the cooking pot. He looked at me and said...
"I was just feeling a little chili."
What did the salt shaker say to the graint of salt? Why you INSALT MEEE.
One day, tamarind, curry and ice were crossing the road. All of a sudden they heard a gunshot. Then, tamabrind ball, curry duck and ice-cream!
A protestor threw a bunch of spices on Jason "Pink" London, but all it did was leave him "Saged and Confused".
Chefs earn a meager celery, cumin home beat they just want to read the pepper and spend thyme with the kids.
If my Hindu girlfriend thinks I'm going to eat Indian food, she has another think cumin.
Why do baby seals swim in salt water? Cause pepper water makes them sneeze.
My doctor told me "No more spicy food.", but I decided to have one last fennel fling.
A burglar broke into my house and took all my condiments, now I'm Spiceless in Seattle.
What does a nosey pepper do? Gets Jalapeno business.
Did you hear about the guy who overdosed on curry powder? He went into a korma.
What happened when a farmer crossed a chili pepper, a shovel, and a pitbull? He got a hot-diggity-dog.
Teacher: What are the seasons? Student: Salt, pepper, ginger...
Why shouldn't you buy illegal seasonings? It's always a shady dill.
I cut a dill with this spicy mami, but at the last minute she ginger mind.
What did baby clock ask mama clock? Where's father Thyme.
I asked the Korean grocer for something to spice up my meals, but I think I got a raw dill.
Did you hear about the flatmate who woke up to a spicy toothbrush? He had it cumin.
My herbs were looking a little scuffed, but when I went to go polish them, my friend was already getting ready to help me out. This made me upset, so I grabbed a sprig out of their hands and said
This is my thyme to shine.
I switched labels in my wife's spice cabinet.
She hasn't noticed, but the thyme is cumin.
So I was cleaning my spice cabinet...
and now I have a lot of thyme on my hands!
Why did the Iron Chef have to stop cooking? He ran out of Thyme.
National Herbs and Spices Day is celebrated annually on June 10.