Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. Happy Birthday from me to you!
I met a girl that owned three french-fry factories. I was impressed but to her it was just small potatoes.
What do you get when it rains potatoes? Spuddles.
Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Ergo, I am a potato
Time fries when you’re having fun!
Why didn’t the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a common-tater.
I yam rooting for you my sweet potato and I won't mash your heart
What do you call a potato at a football game? A spec-tater.
How does a potato win at Street Fighter? By mashing the kick button.
Happy Birthday to my best spud….get it? ? Spud…bud? ?
What’s a potato’s least favorite dance? The Mash Potato.
Why was the sweet potato too shy to ask out the russet potato? Because he was a real spud.
Potato puns are a-peeling.
When it started raining, I spotted a potato across the road pretty fast and I wondered what’s up? It wasn’t long before I saw a fork up ahead.
Potatoes that are medi-tators maintain calm and peace even when uprooted.
Why wouldn’t the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
Where does a potato go to college? DeFry
What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato? Anything, just butter him up.
“How was your day? ” “It was tater-ible”
What is a potato’s favorite baseball team? The New York Yamkees
When potato chips don’t sell fast enough, the maker knows it will soon be crunch time.
What do you call a baby potato? Small fry.
Have a s-mash-ing birthday!
Everything in this world is either a potato or not a potato
“We are experiencing slight tuber-lence on the flight”
What do potatoes become when they smoke weed?
Baked potatoes.
What’s a potato’s favorite TV program? Starch Trek.
What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water? A hesi-tater.
“How are you? ” “Well, I yam fried”
If you’re looking for potato puns, you can count on me to chip in.
I miss you! I’ll see you tater!
What do you call a lazy spud? A couch potato.
What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and staring at potatoes? A medi-tator.
What kind of potato do you want to take home to your parents? A sweet potato.
Why was the potato put in an asylum? It was starch raving mad.
What kind of potatoes are in the best shape? Hash browns; they’re totally shredded!
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
I like you a latke!
What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
John, you have so much po(tato)tential!
We’re a perfect mash.
What do you call an everyday potato? A commentater!