Thanks to you, I’m saddled with unnecessary peelings.
Why do potatoes make good detectives? Because they keep their eyes peeled.
If we played hot potato I’d lose, because I’d never let you go.
Why did the potato wear socks?
To keep his pota-toes warm.
“How are you? ” “Well, I yam fried”
What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spec-tater!
Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Ergo, I am a potato
“I can’t breathe” One potato said to the other. “What happened? ” The other said. The potato replied “I
feel I dropped my nose somewhere”
“How was your day? ” “It was tater-ible”
When potato chips don’t sell fast enough, the maker knows it will soon be crunch time.
What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water? A hesi-tater.
The sweet potato asked the other potato : “How are my eyes? ”
What kind of potato do you want to take home to your parents? A sweet potato.
My love for you sprouts more and more everyday!
What do you call a potato that smokes weed? A baked potato.
What do you call a baby potato? Tater tots!
What do you get when it rains potatoes? Spuddles.
What kind of potatoes are in the best shape? Hash browns; they’re totally shredded!
I love you a tot!
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
Time fries when you’re having fun!
What is a potato’s favorite baseball team? The New York Yamkees
If you’re looking for potato puns, you can count on me to chip in.
Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. Happy Birthday from me to you!
Who is a potato’s favorite author? Edgar Allen Poe-tato.
I yam rooting for you my sweet potato and I won't mash your heart
Why didn’t the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a common-tater.
Potato puns are a-peeling.
What’s a potato’s least favorite dance? The Mash Potato.
All potato puns are pomme de terrible.
What do potatoes become when they smoke weed?
Baked potatoes.
I miss you! I’ll see you tater!
Say this aloud: Eye Yam Stew Peed
John, you have so much po(tato)tential!
You’re the tater to my tot. I miss you a lot!
How does a potato win at Street Fighter? By mashing the kick button.
What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and staring at potatoes? A medi-tator.
We’re a perfect mash.
I like you a latke!
What do you call an everyday potato? A commentater!
Why wouldn’t the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.
How do you know when a potato is high? When it looks baked!
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
What do you call a lazy spud? A couch potato.
What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato? Anything, just butter him up.
How do you know when a potato is in a bad mood? When they are acting salty
What do you call a potato that has turned to the dark side? Vader tots!
Why was the sweet potato too shy to ask out the russet potato? Because he was a real spud.
Potatoes that are medi-tators maintain calm and peace even when uprooted.
Happy Birthday to my best spud….get it? ? Spud…bud? ?