John, you have so much po(tato)tential!
Did you hear about the potato that got its head chopped off? It was decap-potatoed.
What do potatoes become when they smoke weed?
Baked potatoes.
Who is a potato’s favorite author? Edgar Allen Poe-tato.
What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
Why wouldn’t the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.
What do you get when if you cross a potato and the terminator?
A termitator.
Why do potatoes make good detectives? Because they keep their eyes peeled.
“How was your day? ” “It was a total disas-tater”
All potato puns are pomme de terrible.
People order potatoes a lot because they look a-peeling on the menu.
My love for you sprouts more and more everyday!
When potato chips don’t sell fast enough, the maker knows it will soon be crunch time.
What’s a potato’s least favorite dance? The Mash Potato.
What do you call a baby potato? Tater tots!
What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spec-tater!
Happy Birthday to my best spud….get it? ? Spud…bud? ?
Say this aloud: Eye Yam Stew Peed
What do you call a baby potato? Small fry.
Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. Happy Birthday from me to you!
If we played hot potato I’d lose, because I’d never let you go.
Time fries when you’re having fun!
Thanks to you, I’m saddled with unnecessary peelings.
I like you a latke!
What kind of potato do you want to take home to your parents? A sweet potato.
A potato gave a gift to his girlfriend.She said, “Aww, why are you so sweet? ”He said, “It’s just the
way I yam.”
Potatoes that are medi-tators maintain calm and peace even when uprooted.
What do you call an everyday potato? A commentater!
“How are you? ” “Well, I yam fried”
What do you get when it rains potatoes? Spuddles.
What did the daddy potato say to his son before his soccer game? I’m rooting for you!
Have a s-mash-ing birthday!
We’re a perfect mash.
What do you call a lazy spud? A couch potato.
Why didn’t the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a common-tater.
I miss you! I’ll see you tater!
“We are experiencing slight tuber-lence on the flight”
What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and staring at potatoes? A medi-tator.
Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Ergo, I am a potato
What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water? A hesi-tater.
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
How do you know when a potato is in a bad mood? When they are acting salty
What do you call a potato that smokes weed? A baked potato.
What do you call a potato that has turned to the dark side? Vader tots!
How do you know when a potato is high? When it looks baked!
What kind of potatoes are in the best shape? Hash browns; they’re totally shredded!
How does a potato win at Street Fighter? By mashing the kick button.
If you’re looking for potato puns, you can count on me to chip in.
Why did the potato wear socks?
To keep his pota-toes warm.