Happy Birthday to my best spud….get it? ? Spud…bud? ?
What do you call a spinning potato? A rotate-o.
What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water? A hesi-tater.
What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spec-tater!
Why didn’t the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a common-tater.
“How was your day? ” “It was a total disas-tater”
All potato puns are pomme de terrible.
What did the daddy potato say to his son before his soccer game? I’m rooting for you!
Where does a potato go to college? DeFry
If we played hot potato I’d lose, because I’d never let you go.
What do you get when it rains potatoes? Spuddles.
I like you a latke!
Why wouldn’t the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.
What is a potato’s life philosophy? I think, therefore I yam.
“How are you? ” “Well, I yam fried”
When it started raining, I spotted a potato across the road pretty fast and I wondered what’s up? It wasn’t long before I saw a fork up ahead.
If you’re looking for potato puns, you can count on me to chip in.
I yam always very happy to eat sweet potatoes.
Did you hear about the potato that got its head chopped off? It was decap-potatoed.
What is a potato’s favorite baseball team? The New York Yamkees
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
“We are experiencing slight tuber-lence on the flight”
Who is a potato’s favorite author? Edgar Allen Poe-tato.
What’s a potato’s favorite TV program? Starch Trek.
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
Say this aloud: Eye Yam Stew Peed
“I can’t breathe” One potato said to the other. “What happened? ” The other said. The potato replied “I
feel I dropped my nose somewhere”
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
People order potatoes a lot because they look a-peeling on the menu.
What do potatoes become when they smoke weed?
Baked potatoes.
My love for you sprouts more and more everyday!
What do you call a potato that has turned to the dark side? Vader tots!
Why did the potato wear socks?
To keep his pota-toes warm.
What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and staring at potatoes? A medi-tator.
John, you have so much po(tato)tential!
We’re a perfect mash.
What do you call an everyday potato? A commentater!
I met a girl that owned three french-fry factories. I was impressed but to her it was just small potatoes.
What kind of potato do you want to take home to your parents? A sweet potato.
What do you call a potato at a football game? A spec-tater.
How does a potato win at Street Fighter? By mashing the kick button.
Have a s-mash-ing birthday!
I yam rooting for you my sweet potato and I won't mash your heart
“How was your day? ” “It was tater-ible”
How do you know when a potato is in a bad mood? When they are acting salty
Thanks to you, I’m saddled with unnecessary peelings.
Why don't potatoes go to parties?
They're scared of the Monster Mash.
Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Ergo, I am a potato
What’s a potatoes favorite horror movie? The Silence of the Yams.
What kind of potatoes are in the best shape? Hash browns; they’re totally shredded!