When it started raining, I spotted a potato across the road pretty fast and I wondered what’s up? It wasn’t long before I saw a fork up ahead.
What do potatoes become when they smoke weed?
Baked potatoes.
Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. Happy Birthday from me to you!
How do you know when a potato is high? When it looks baked!
“How are you? ” “Well, I yam fried”
I yam rooting for you my sweet potato and I won't mash your heart
What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
People order potatoes a lot because they look a-peeling on the menu.
Who is a potato’s favorite author? Edgar Allen Poe-tato.
Why was the potato put in an asylum? It was starch raving mad.
Why did the potato wear socks?
To keep his pota-toes warm.
What is a potato’s life philosophy? I think, therefore I yam.
How do you know when a potato is in a bad mood? When they are acting salty
All potato puns are pomme de terrible.
“We are experiencing slight tuber-lence on the flight”
John, you have so much po(tato)tential!
Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Ergo, I am a potato
My love for you sprouts more and more everyday!
“I can’t breathe” One potato said to the other. “What happened? ” The other said. The potato replied “I
feel I dropped my nose somewhere”
Happy Birthday to my best spud….get it? ? Spud…bud? ?
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
We’re a perfect mash.
Why was the sweet potato too shy to ask out the russet potato? Because he was a real spud.
What did the daddy potato say to his son before his soccer game? I’m rooting for you!
Where does a potato go to college? DeFry
What’s a potato’s favorite TV program? Starch Trek.
I met a girl that owned three french-fry factories. I was impressed but to her it was just small potatoes.
What do you call a potato that has turned to the dark side? Vader tots!
If you’re looking for potato puns, you can count on me to chip in.
What do you get when if you cross a potato and the terminator?
A termitator.
What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato? Anything, just butter him up.
I love you a tot!
What do you call an everyday potato? A commentater!
Why do potatoes make good detectives? Because they keep their eyes peeled.
What kind of potato do you want to take home to your parents? A sweet potato.
What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and staring at potatoes? A medi-tator.
Did you hear about the potato that got its head chopped off? It was decap-potatoed.
Why didn’t the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a common-tater.
Say this aloud: Eye Yam Stew Peed
Time fries when you’re having fun!
“How was your day? ” “It was tater-ible”
Potatoes that are medi-tators maintain calm and peace even when uprooted.
The sweet potato asked the other potato : “How are my eyes? ”
I miss you! I’ll see you tater!
What do you call a spinning potato? A rotate-o.
What do you call a potato that smokes weed? A baked potato.
What do you call a baby potato? Small fry.
What do you call a potato at a football game? A spec-tater.
What do you get when it rains potatoes? Spuddles.
What’s a potatoes favorite horror movie? The Silence of the Yams.