What do you call a lazy spud? A couch potato.
What do you get when if you cross a potato and the terminator?
A termitator.
Why wouldn’t the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.
“How was your day? ” “It was tater-ible”
What do you call a baby potato? Tater tots!
When it started raining, I spotted a potato across the road pretty fast and I wondered what’s up? It wasn’t long before I saw a fork up ahead.
A potato gave a gift to his girlfriend.She said, “Aww, why are you so sweet? ”He said, “It’s just the
way I yam.”
What’s a potatoes favorite horror movie? The Silence of the Yams.
What’s a potato’s favorite TV program? Starch Trek.
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
We’re a perfect mash.
Everything in this world is either a potato or not a potato
All potato puns are pomme de terrible.
What do you get when it rains potatoes? Spuddles.
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. Happy Birthday from me to you!
I met a girl that owned three french-fry factories. I was impressed but to her it was just small potatoes.
What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water? A hesi-tater.
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
Did you hear about the potato that got its head chopped off? It was decap-potatoed.
How do you know when a potato is high? When it looks baked!
What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato? Anything, just butter him up.
“How are you? ” “Well, I yam fried”
John, you have so much po(tato)tential!
What is a potato’s favorite baseball team? The New York Yamkees
Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Ergo, I am a potato
Why was the sweet potato too shy to ask out the russet potato? Because he was a real spud.
What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
Have a s-mash-ing birthday!
Time fries when you’re having fun!
I love you a tot!
Say this aloud: Eye Yam Stew Peed
Why do potatoes make good detectives? Because they keep their eyes peeled.
I like you a latke!
What do you call a baby potato? Small fry.
What do you call an everyday potato? A commentater!
If we played hot potato I’d lose, because I’d never let you go.
Happy Birthday to my best spud….get it? ? Spud…bud? ?
How does a potato win at Street Fighter? By mashing the kick button.
Why was the potato put in an asylum? It was starch raving mad.
What is a potato’s life philosophy? I think, therefore I yam.
What do you call a potato that has turned to the dark side? Vader tots!
Thanks to you, I’m saddled with unnecessary peelings.
You’re the tater to my tot. I miss you a lot!
How do you know when a potato is in a bad mood? When they are acting salty
I yam rooting for you my sweet potato and I won't mash your heart
What do potatoes become when they smoke weed?
Baked potatoes.
The sweet potato asked the other potato : “How are my eyes? ”
“I can’t breathe” One potato said to the other. “What happened? ” The other said. The potato replied “I
feel I dropped my nose somewhere”
What do you call a potato at a football game? A spec-tater.