Why was the potato put in an asylum? It was starch raving mad.
What do you call a baby potato? Small fry.
I miss you! I’ll see you tater!
What’s a potatoes favorite horror movie? The Silence of the Yams.
What do you get when if you cross a potato and the terminator?
A termitator.
What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato? Anything, just butter him up.
Thanks to you, I’m saddled with unnecessary peelings.
Why did the potato wear socks?
To keep his pota-toes warm.
What do you call a potato that has turned to the dark side? Vader tots!
What do you call a lazy spud? A couch potato.
If we played hot potato I’d lose, because I’d never let you go.
Why didn’t the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a common-tater.
Happy Birthday to my best spud….get it? ? Spud…bud? ?
Everything in this world is either a potato or not a potato
The sweet potato asked the other potato : “How are my eyes? ”
If you’re looking for potato puns, you can count on me to chip in.
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
John, you have so much po(tato)tential!
What is a potato’s life philosophy? I think, therefore I yam.
What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and staring at potatoes? A medi-tator.
When it started raining, I spotted a potato across the road pretty fast and I wondered what’s up? It wasn’t long before I saw a fork up ahead.
When potato chips don’t sell fast enough, the maker knows it will soon be crunch time.
Have a s-mash-ing birthday!
What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
What kind of potatoes are in the best shape? Hash browns; they’re totally shredded!
People order potatoes a lot because they look a-peeling on the menu.
What do you call a potato that smokes weed? A baked potato.
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Ergo, I am a potato
Potato puns are a-peeling.
Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. Happy Birthday from me to you!
Time fries when you’re having fun!
Why do potatoes make good detectives? Because they keep their eyes peeled.
I met a girl that owned three french-fry factories. I was impressed but to her it was just small potatoes.
All potato puns are pomme de terrible.
I yam rooting for you my sweet potato and I won't mash your heart
“We are experiencing slight tuber-lence on the flight”
I yam always very happy to eat sweet potatoes.
“How was your day? ” “It was a total disas-tater”
What do you call an everyday potato? A commentater!
Say this aloud: Eye Yam Stew Peed
What do you get when it rains potatoes? Spuddles.
How do you know when a potato is in a bad mood? When they are acting salty
What do you call a potato at a football game? A spec-tater.
I love you a tot!
My love for you sprouts more and more everyday!
How does a potato win at Street Fighter? By mashing the kick button.
What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spec-tater!
What kind of potato do you want to take home to your parents? A sweet potato.