What happens when you buy too much ice cream?
Breyer’s remorse.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ice cream!
Ice cream who?
Ice cream if you throw me in the cold, cold water!
What happened when rockers couldn't get their favorite dessert? Rage against the Broken Ice Cream Machine.
Why does everyone invite ice cream to the party?
It’s cool.
What happens after you eat an entire gallon of "All Natural" ice cream? You get Breyer's remorse!
Why does everyone want ice cream to be on their team?
Because with them, anything is popsicle.
Why will you never meet an ice cream workaholic?
They know how to chill out.
Why don't they make ice cream from breast milk? It's an udderly bad idea!
What is ice cream’s preferred breed of dog?
Dashchundae.
How did Reese eat her ice cream? Witherspoon.
What is ice cream’s favorite TV show?
Game of Cones.
When does Oliver Stone eat ice cream? Any Given Sundae.
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a bowl of ice cream by its diameter? Pi a'la mode.
What kind of ice cream does Dracula eat?
Veinilla.
What do you get from an Alaskan cow ? Ice Cream
What did the ice cream cone write on his valentine card?
You make me melt.
What are ice cream cones like as parents?
They’re big softies.
What do you call an anthropomorphic animal blended in ice cream?
A McFurry
Did you hear about the ice cream that went to prison?
They got their just desserts.
How do astronauts like to eat their ice cream?
Floats.
Why doesn’t anyone invite an ice cream cone to their party?
They’re a drip.
Why is green ice cream so serendipitous?
It was mint to be.
Why did the ice cream truck break down? Because of the Rocky Road.
What did the newspaper say to the ice cream? What's the scoop
What do you call a rapper working at Cold Stone? Scoop Dogg.
What is ice cream’s favorite day of the week?
Sundae.
You know what they say about ice cream parents?
They play flavorites.
How is ice cream as a girlfriend?
The sweetest.
Why do ice cream cones make such bad athletes?
They always get licked.
How does Reese eat her ice cream?
Witherspoon.
Why did the ice cream truck break down?
There was a rocky road.
Where do you go to learn how to make ice cream?
Sundae school.
What does an ice cream lawyer say?
You got served.
How do astronauts eat their ice cream? In floats!
What do you call a metalhead working at Cold Stone? Alice Scooper.
Why are popsicles so snobby?
They have a stick up their butt.
Why is ice cream so bad at tennis?
They have a soft serve.
Did you hear about the frozen dessert whose wife had a baby?
Now he’s a popsicle.
Why do ice cream cones make such good journalists?
They always get a scoop.
How does an ice cream cone congratulate you on the anniversary of your birth?
It’s sherbert day!
What was the ice cream cone’s naughty pick up line?
Wanna lick me?
Why do ice cream cones always carry an umbrella?
There’s a chance of sprinkles.
What kind of ice cream to electricians eat?
Shock a lot.