What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk,
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
What does a meditating egg say?
Ohmmmmmmmlet.
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!