I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk,
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
What does a meditating egg say?
Ohmmmmmmmlet.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.