Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk,
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
I was visiting my dear old Grandpa the other day when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No. You can't make an omelette," he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
What does a meditating egg say?
Ohmmmmmmmlet.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
How many French eggs do you need?
One egg is un oeuf.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.