Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
How many French eggs do you need?
One egg is un oeuf.
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
What does a meditating egg say?
Ohmmmmmmmlet.
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk,
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
I was visiting my dear old Grandpa the other day when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No. You can't make an omelette," he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!