Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
How many French eggs do you need?
One egg is un oeuf.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
I was visiting my dear old Grandpa the other day when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No. You can't make an omelette," he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk,
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!
What does a meditating egg say?
Ohmmmmmmmlet.
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.