How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
What does a meditating egg say?
Ohmmmmmmmlet.
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
I was visiting my dear old Grandpa the other day when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No. You can't make an omelette," he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk,
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
How many French eggs do you need?
One egg is un oeuf.
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.