How many French eggs do you need?
One egg is un oeuf.
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
What does a meditating egg say?
Ohmmmmmmmlet.
I was visiting my dear old Grandpa the other day when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No. You can't make an omelette," he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.