What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
How many French eggs do you need?
One egg is un oeuf.
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk,
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
I was visiting my dear old Grandpa the other day when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No. You can't make an omelette," he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.