How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
What does a meditating egg say?
Ohmmmmmmmlet.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
How many French eggs do you need?
One egg is un oeuf.
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk,
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
I was visiting my dear old Grandpa the other day when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No. You can't make an omelette," he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.