How do you make Pig Jerky?
Give them some coffee.
What's the best Beatles' song to play at a coffee shop? Latte Be.
What did the coffees say before their night out? Let's stir up some trouble.
What’s fat, hairy and drinks a lot of coffee?
Java the Hut!
I do some of my best thinking over coffee. I tend to have a latte on my mind.
Italians are so good at making coffee because they naturally like to espresso themselves.
The hipster burnt his tongue. He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
How did Henry VIII like his coffee? Decap.
What’s the opposite of coffee?
Sneezy.
What did the coffee say to its date? Hey there, hot stuff.
Did you hear about the guy who put little G.I. Joe soldiers at the bottom of his coffee cup?
He’d heard that the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!
What do you call it when you walk into a coffee shop and feel like you've been there before? Déja-brew.
How are guys just like coffee?
The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
What did the caffeine addict name his cats?
Cream and Sugar.
Everyone makes fun of him for using old coffee, but he insists it has the greatest sedimental value.
How is divorce like espresso? It's bitter and expensive.
What did the coffee lover name his son?
Joe, obviously.
What did the horny woman say about her coffee?
That coffee’s not the only thing that’s hot and wet this morning.
You spilled your entire cup of coffee? What's sumatra with you?
Why did the coffee bean keep checking his watch? Because he was pressed for time.
What do you call a cow who’s just given birth?
De-calf-inated!
The pot of coffee he just made is basically break fluid.
And what should every barista say to their customers? Have a brew-tiful day.
Avoid discussing coffee in sensitive company. It can make for a heated and strong debate.
What did the two coffee lovers say on their wedding day? We were meant to bean together.
What do you call a sad cup of coffee? A depresso.
What’s the difference between coffee and your opinion?
I asked for coffee.
How did the coffee show its love? It said, "Words cannot espresso how much you bean to me."
Why are men like coffee? The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
How does Moses make coffee?
Hebrews it.