What did mutter say to paneer? Tu cheese badi hai mast mast.
What happens when you go on an all-cheese diet?
You cheddar few pounds.
What did the grilled cheese sandwich say to their date?
“You make me melt.”
What did one cheese tell the other cheese on Valentine’s day?
Brie mine.
What do you call it when a cheese goes #2?
Fondue-due.
Did you hear about the guy who forgot to use the colander when making mac and cheese?
His wife gave him a restraining order.
When do they smother a burrito in cheese? In best queso scenario.
How did the cheese get such curly hair?
It got a permasan.
What do they say when you leave the cheese store?
Have a gouda day!
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort.
What cheese should you use to hide a horse? Mascarpone.
What is a cannibal's favourite cheese? Limburger
Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted?
How dairy.
Why did the cheese shop owner finally quit the business?
He was tired of the daily rind.
What wisdom did the daddy cheese pass down to his son?
A curd in the hand is worth two in the bush.
What cheese cries the most?
Babybel.
What pickup line can you use to pick up a cheese lover?
“Are you cheddar? ‘Cause you’re lookin’ sharp!”
What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
What did the cheese say after escaping the mouse? I'm Brieeee!
Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?
He was scared there was a munster under the bed.
What do you call cheese that is acting crazy? A basket queso.
How do you know when a cheese is full of himself?
Whatever you say, he’ll say he is feta.
What do you tell your friend after she breaks up with a cheese lover?
You’re cheddar off without him!
What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory? All that was left was de brie.
Why didn’t I believe what the cheese salesman told me?
It was too gouda to be true.
How does a cheese tell you they want to be with you?
“I think you and I would look gouda together.”
What was the cheese’s strategy when it ran for president?
Make America grate again.
How does the Cheese Detective choose his clients?
On a queso by queso basis.
What Welsh cheese must you always eat with caution? Caerphilly
Why doesn’t anyone like to hang out with crackers?
Someone always cuts the cheese.
What’s a good way to start a conversation with a cheese plate on Tinder?
“Hello. Is it brie you’re looking for?”
Why didn’t the chef slice his cheese?
He had grater plans.
What did one cheddar cheese say to the other cheddar cheese at prom?
Looking sharp!
What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror ? Halloumi (Hello me)
What do you call cheese who attends art openings?
Cultured.
Which search engine is popular amongst mice? Ask Cheese.
What were the cheese’s wedding vows?
To havarti and to hold.
What is a pirate’s favorite cheese?
Ched-arrrrgh!
Why was the cheese asked to leave the restaurant?
The cook said “we don’t serve your rind here”.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!
What do you call cheese that is sad? Blue cheese.
What did the Cheese salesman say? That cheese may be Gouda, but this one is Feta!
What does a cheese lover say when someone keeps messing around with them?
“You gouda brie kidding!”
What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that's all up in your face? Too close for comfort food.
Did you hear about the cheese shop that was destroyed by a tornado?
All that’s left is da brie.
What does a lady in a mall do with a cheesey credit card? Go on a shopping brie.
What is a cannibal’s favorite cheese?
Limb-burger.
What cheese surrounds a medieval castle? Moatzeralla
What do you call a cheese that is an alcoholic? Livarot
What did one cheese say to the other during philosophy class?
“I dis a brie.”