How big is a clown's hard drive?
50 GiggleBytes
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
My wifi password is the cat's birthday month
Feb-paw-hairy
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
My wireless keyboard isn't working
I guess I need to re-pair it.
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
Why do you need a password to make a camp fire?
So you can log in.
What did the eyewitness tell the cops after a computer robbed a bank?
It went data way!
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
What do you call a gushing keyboard?
sqwerty
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
My father got a new laptop, and it is now like the baby computer of the house, so we refer to the older laptop as the 'Data'.
My brother, who is an IT guy, got surgery done on his fingers. Now he can truly be called a tech-knuckle support guy.
I created a presentation on my computer but didn't use password protection...
Now it has visual aids.
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"
German Wi-Fi is the WURST.
Why did the hard drive crash?
Because it had a bad driver.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Changed all my passwords to Kenny.
Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
A good workman doesn't blame his fools
\*tools.
Stupid keyboard.
What's the sketchiest button combo on a computer keyboard?
Shift + T
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
I got a asked to leave karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" seven times in a row. I had exceeded the allowed number of Loggins attempts.
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
I felt sad for my brother's computer being overclocked because I heard the processor say, "Stop it! It hertz so much!".
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."