Q. What happened when the computer geeks met?
A. It was love at first site!
What did the WiFi router say when it was unplugged?
"Tell my wifi love her
Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
Today my "O" button on my keyboard stopped working.
Maybe it was a sign I should've stopped o-ppressing the keyboard.
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
An American guy visits a friend in Scotland.
When he arrives at his friend's house, he asks "Can I use your Wifi?"
The friend looks a bit perplexed, but then he smiles and says, "Sure ye can, she's up th' stairs."
I came into the office early and switched as many M and N keys on keyboards as I could. Some might say I'm a monster...
But others will say nomster
Why did the computer spy get fired?
She couldn't hack it.
If a cat broke your computer...
Would it be that an error has o-purred ?
Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
My father got a new laptop, and it is now like the baby computer of the house, so we refer to the older laptop as the 'Data'.
Why was the old computer sad?
Because it had a floppy disk.
My mom told me that sitting on a computer 8 hours a day in unhealthy
I said: But, mom that's why I am using a chair.
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
*Creating password*
"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"
ERROR: [Password two week]
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
So I was in the library when this cute girl came up and asked to borrow my external hard drive
It was at this point I realized she wanted the (D:)
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
What made the computer so smart?
Because he listened to his motherboard!
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
Did you hear about the keyboard that lost it's Period Key?
He was missing the point.
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.
If you used a keyboard with built-in speakers, you would be...?
Stereotyping.
Why can't an IT guy keep a girlfriend?
He turns them all off and on again.
Ever hear about the computer programmer who moved to Mexico?
He wanted to be a Señor developer.
I'm really obsessed with the F1 key on my keyboard. I'm trying to get help.
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the Keyboard Factory?
He didn't put enough shifts in.
Why did the hard drive crash?
Because it had a bad driver.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
If cheese were downloadable, then I'd try to throw my hard drive as far as possible.
What I'm saying is, I'd chuck e-cheese.
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
Why are boy keyboards scared of girl keyboards?
They don't want to get qwerties.
My computer is so slow it's running in the '90s.
Today I Learned I should NOT have my password be the name of my cat.
I then turned to my cat and said, "Well, wJ:cg/v&A;6BTt, I guess it's back to the drawing board."
The rancher's Wifi wasn't working so he moved the router to the barn...
Now he has a stable connection
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
Why are wooden hard drives so bad?
They're all bark and no byte.
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
Don't use the word "EGG" for your password...
It's very easily cracked.
Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I couldn't keep the space clean.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None because it's a hardware issue.
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