I was looking forward to eat my rice bowl.
But my brother, like always, ate them. And now he's experiencing really bad headaches.
I guess it's because he has a history of having my-grains.
How do cups get their money?
They mug people.
So I heard this joke about glass
But it clearly shouldn’t have been made
I was served by a former police officer at my local Applebee’s, I asked for a cup of water and he gave me a cup of ice instead and said
“Just-ice has been served”
My wife was scratching the glass jar with a metal spoon...
It was jarring!!!
Got emotional hearing about the role of tectonic plates in earthquakes. It was really moving.
What did the plate say to the refrigerator?
"Stay cool. Dinner's on me"
Dear Optimist, Pessimist and Realist. While you were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it.
The Opportunist.
Why did Don Corleone send back the plate for his coffee cup?
Someone gave him a saucer he could not reuse.
Why do Christians in Japan always put an extra cup at the table?
For God's sake.
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought.
It is an extremely rare dish order.
What happens when you drink beer from a cup?
You both get drunk.
Justice is a dish best served cold
Because otherwise it would be justwater.
Why did the pony ask for a glass of water?
Because he felt like he was a little horse.
Is plate throwing a trully Olympic sport?
Discuss.
It’s amazing how most jars look alike...
The resemblance is uncanny
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer and the sizzlin' steak platter.
"Here's your steak," the bartender says. "Be careful, that plate is really hot."
"Oh, no worries," the guy replies. "I'm not really attracted to plates."
My bedroom now has a stained glass window....
A pigeon just flew right into it.
My kid was having trouble with the peanut butter because the jar was too deep and the knife was too short
I tried to help, but I couldn’t get to the bottom of it
What did the home owner say to the mug shot when he put it up on his wall
"You've been framed!"
Did you hear about the man who drowned in a bowl of muesli?
He was dragged down by a currant..
What did the glass say to the window?
"I'm in pane."
What do you call a very sad cup of coffee?
A depresso.
What is the national dish of Sweden?
Swedish.
What do you call a cat sitting on a platter?
A Platterpuss.
What happened to your arm, Greg? And why are you eating that giant bowl of herbs?
"You know what they say, Margaret"
"Thyme heals all wounds".
I came home and found my wife naked, except for a porcelain mug on each breast.
She said she was a t-cup.
Minding my own business, when someone I thought was my friend threw a serving plate full of bumblebees at me.
I was bee-trayed.
My car keeps telling me my door is ajar. It's not a jar you idiot it's a door.
My biggest problem with having three square meals a day is that all my plates are round.
What do you call a decent cup of coffee?
Just an average joe.
Why did the blind man always use paper cups?
He has no need for glasses.
Will glass coffins ever become popular?
This remains to be seen.
I said to her, are going to eat that whole plate of spaghetti??
She said: no, it's in pasta bowl
What do you call a stolen jar?
A free mason.
Local glass blower inhaled whilst working. He ended up with a pane in his stomach.
The barman in the pub looked over at me said, "Your glass is empty. Fancy another one?" "
Why would I want two empty glasses?" I asked
If prisoners could take their own mug shots...
Would they be called cellfies?
I used to be part of a ten pin league. Our team name was 'Bowl Movement'.
What the Poland man did, after adding German mugs to his collection?
He polished them.
You could say I have an hour glass figure
It takes me an hour to figure out where my glasses are!
What side of the mug is the handle on?
The outside.
My dad kept calling referring to this mason jar as his “boom box”.
When I asked him why, he responded “I use it for all my jams!”
I gave my dad a mug for his birthday
It said "World's greatest dad". When I gave it to him he looked kind of insulted. Is something wrong with it I asked? He replied, "You spelled 'dad' backwards"
What do you call it when you have to quickly eat a beef dish wrapped in pastry crust?
A brief Wellington
What is the dish that likes using the light switch?
StrogONOFF
Why did the police arrest a cup of snow?
For just-ice
Two flies are playing football on a saucer.
They’re practicing for the cup.
What do you call someone who labels jars of body parts?
An organiser.
My son told me he can drink a whole glass a whiskey straight.
Personally, I think it's neat.
Go to BabaMail
