Will glass coffins ever become popular?
This remains to be seen.
Local glass blower inhaled whilst working. He ended up with a pane in his stomach.
My son took his jar collection way too far
When I came home from work I thought the house was robbed because the door was ajar.
Did you hear about the man who drowned in a bowl of muesli?
He was dragged down by a currant..
Why do Christians in Japan always put an extra cup at the table?
For God's sake.
Turned down an opportunity to invest in a company making frosted glass balls. Couldn’t see any future in it.
I met a man with a glass eye this morning...
He didn’t tell me, it just came out in the conversation
Two flies are playing football on a saucer.
They’re practicing for the cup.
What do you call a cat sitting on a platter?
A Platterpuss.
I thought I checkmated my dad with my new glass set in chess...
But he saw right through it
I was at a party last night, waiting my turn to get to the punch bowl.
Everyone was being very polite, patient and not barging in. I thought to myself, "At last...
a decent punchline"
What do you call a very sad cup of coffee?
A depresso.
Why did the pony ask for a glass of water?
Because he felt like he was a little horse.
I put my root beer in a square glass
Now I just have beer
They’ve started a collection to open a pool near me. I gave them a glass of water.
My father quietly retired from his job as an eye glass manufacturer yesterday.
He didn’t want to make a spectacle.
What did the home owner say to the mug shot when he put it up on his wall
"You've been framed!"
So my daughter is calling me all excited. I come by her room to her holding her cup above her head and says "Dad look..."
"I'm breathing underwater."
I was looking forward to eat my rice bowl.
But my brother, like always, ate them. And now he's experiencing really bad headaches.
I guess it's because he has a history of having my-grains.
What did the plate say to the refrigerator?
"Stay cool. Dinner's on me"
Why was the door glass?
Because the door was ajar
My son told me he can drink a whole glass a whiskey straight.
Personally, I think it's neat.
I gave my dad a mug for his birthday
It said "World's greatest dad". When I gave it to him he looked kind of insulted. Is something wrong with it I asked? He replied, "You spelled 'dad' backwards"
Instead of a swear jar I have a negativity jar. Everytime I have a pessimistic thought I put a dollar in it.
It's half empty.
My wife just threw out our computer, shattering all the glass.
I guess she doesn’t like windows.
My biggest problem with having three square meals a day is that all my plates are round.
My bedroom now has a stained glass window....
A pigeon just flew right into it.
My kid was having trouble with the peanut butter because the jar was too deep and the knife was too short
I tried to help, but I couldn’t get to the bottom of it
A baker fell down the stairs with a platter full of cookies.
As they say, that's the way the cookies crumbled.
What happened to your arm, Greg? And why are you eating that giant bowl of herbs?
"You know what they say, Margaret"
"Thyme heals all wounds".
How do you make garlic toast? Lift your glass and talk about the wonderful things it has done.
What is the dish that likes using the light switch?
StrogONOFF
How do cups get their money?
They mug people.
Justice is a dish best served cold
Because otherwise it would be justwater.
Why did the blind man always use paper cups?
He has no need for glasses.
What do you call a decent cup of coffee?
Just an average joe.
You could say I have an hour glass figure
It takes me an hour to figure out where my glasses are!
My wife asked me if I'd seen the dog bowl...
I said I didn't even know he could play.
What do you call someone who labels jars of body parts?
An organiser.
I used to be part of a ten pin league. Our team name was 'Bowl Movement'.
If prisoners could take their own mug shots...
Would they be called cellfies?
What did the glass say to the window?
"I'm in pane."
Cops should feed beans on very tiny plates to the suspects they're interrogating.
That way they're always gonna end up spilling the beans.
Minding my own business, when someone I thought was my friend threw a serving plate full of bumblebees at me.
I was bee-trayed.
My dad kept calling referring to this mason jar as his “boom box”.
When I asked him why, he responded “I use it for all my jams!”
Why did Don Corleone send back the plate for his coffee cup?
Someone gave him a saucer he could not reuse.
Almost dropped a plate of Alphabeti Spaghetti. That could have spelled disaster.
Did you hear about the nun who got into trouble for drinking communion wine from her convent's medieval goblet?
No, but it serves her rite.
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer and the sizzlin' steak platter.
"Here's your steak," the bartender says. "Be careful, that plate is really hot."
"Oh, no worries," the guy replies. "I'm not really attracted to plates."
My wife threw a saucer at me because I hadn't completed the science project of our kid until then. Interestingly, he won first prize at school for presenting...
a Flying Saucer.
Go to BabaMail
