The sun replies: I hurt everyone when they come close to me.
How will you save yourself if you come across an aggressive alien? Give him some space.
Canada is planning a mission to the moon
They're calling the spaceship the Apollo-G.
Where can you read about planets exploding?
In the orbituaries.
What is an astronauts favourite type of shirt?
Apollo
Dud you know Astronauts said steaks are better in space?
They're a little meteor.
Elon Musk is now the richest person on the planet.
Space X has really taken off this past year.
What are Astronauts doing when they do a mistake?
They Apollogize
Which hot drinks space people like? Gravi-tea.
The sun is mad at the clouds because the clouds keep throwing shade.
There’s a big thunderstorm. The road is blocked by a big mudslide. A little boy asks his dad, “Why does earth fall down like that?”
His dad answers, “It’s terrain.”
Where do aliens park their flying saucers?
At a parking meteor.
What do you call people who go to space? Icetronauts.
What do the astronauts put on their lunch toast? Space jam.
Why did the police arrest the star? That’s becuase it was a shooting star.
Why can’t people hear your scream in the space? Because it’s miles away.
What do you call two celebrities who get into a gun fight?
One is a shooting star, and the other is a falling star.
What time do spacemen get up? Alien in the morning.
What planet is next to Uranus?
Poopiter.
I would have gone to space, but the cost is astronomical!
What do you call a person really crazy about the moon
A lunatic.
Which channels do the asteroids like to watch? The comet-y channel.
The satellite went into the orbit, right on January 1st, causing a New Year’s revolution.
Tomorrow the planet will be one year older..
Happy bEarthday!
What kind of magazines would the planets prefer to read? Cosmos.
What do you do when your friend is a claustrophobic astronaut?
You give him a little space.
There’s a lot of proposals on cleaning up space in earth’s orbit from broken satellites.
Looks like they’ll need a vacuum cleaner.
Can’t wait for the first married woman to walk on the red planet.
Just so I can ask if there’s wife on Mars.
What spread do astronauts use on their toast?
. . . Space jam
Last night I was but by a bloodsucker from the moon.
Damn lunatics.
What would’ve happen if the Apollo astronauts stayed on the lunar surface for too long?
They would’ve been lunatics.
What did the astronaut cook for lunch? An unidentifiable frying object.
This year, I've really enjoyed watching 'Planet Earth'.
It's a shame that it only has four seasons.
Do you know why no one has ever been sentenced for crimes committed on the moon?
Because it's a gray area.
If an astronaut steps on chewing gum then what will happen to him? He will simply be stuck on the Orbit.
How did the space criminal escape from the prison planet?
He achieved escape velocity.
What do you call an alien spaceship that's leaking water?
A crying saucer.
What does someone mean by a light year? The same as a regular year, but with less calories and fat.
How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?
You rocket.
What do you call an overweight alien?
An extra cholesterol.
Scientists have found that the center of Jupiter… has the letter i.
How will you come to know when the moon will go broke? It would happen when moon is down to its last quarter.
Why does Venus have a crush on the sun?
Because the sun is really hot.
Have you heard about the latest restaurant that opened up on moon?
No, how is that restaurant?
What do you call an alien spaceship that goes from planet to planet to planet? A UF-hoe.
Why do astronauts use linux?
because you can't open windows in space.
Astronaut 1: I can't find any milk for my coffee.
Astronaut 2: In space, no one can. Here, use cream.
Becoming a space pilot is not easy. It requires a good altitude.
When astronauts die, the local papers run an orbituary.
I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from, then it dawned on me.