The moon landing is obviously fake.
The moon is clearly still up there.
SpaceX is launching astronauts today with a new space catapult
Bringing forth a new era of crude spaceflight.
Can an Australian with poor vision clearly see the moon?
No, but a "good eye might."
I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from, then it dawned on me.
What are Astronauts doing when they do a mistake?
They Apollogize
What type of elements know everybody on earth?
Met-all.
What kind of music would planets prefer to hear? NepTUNEs.
How do you get a baby alien to sleep?
Rocket.
Do you know what is the favorite key of the astronauts?
The Spacebar.
What do you think walking on the moon is like?
Not very impactful.
Which hot drinks space people like? Gravi-tea.
Why does Venus have a crush on the sun?
Because the sun is really hot.
The sun is mad at the clouds because the clouds keep throwing shade.
Why do all kids want to be an astronaut?
Because there is no pressure.
When does the moon gets his/her stomach full? During full moon.
Can’t wait for the first married woman to walk on the red planet.
Just so I can ask if there’s wife on Mars.
Scientists permit us to see the sun in different light.
An astronaut did a huge crime. He broke the law of gravity and hence, got a suspended sentence.
What do the astronauts put on their lunch toast? Space jam.
Elon Musk is now the richest person on the planet.
Space X has really taken off this past year.
What ingredient is essential when baking a Star Wars cake?
Bicarbonate of Yoda
What holds the moon up?
Moonbeams!
My wife just yelled that I should fall in a pit or hole sunk into the earth to reach a supply of water and die.
I know she means well.
Have you heard about the chef on space station? He’s not that much of an astronaut, but his food is literally out of this world!
How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?
You rocket.
Why did the cosmonaut take his dog to the vet?
He came down with a stellar case of lunar tics.
If athletes can get “Athletes foot”, what can astronauts get? Missile Toe.
What do planets like to read?
Comet books.
Reading sun puns while sunbathing make one well red.
Warning! Do not look at the sun through a colander.
You'll strain your eyes.
The moon asked the sun: Buddy when you are so hot, why are you single yet?
Why people did not like the restaurant on? Because there was literally no atmosphere.
What do moon people do after they get married?What do moon people do after they get married?
Go on their honeyearth.
Is that the Dog star? You can’t be Sirius!
What is an astronauts favourite type of shirt?
Apollo
Beer is the greatest beverage on earth.
That's my pint of view, anyway.
What do you think holds the moon up? Moonbeams.
There’s a big thunderstorm. The road is blocked by a big mudslide. A little boy asks his dad, “Why does earth fall down like that?”
His dad answers, “It’s terrain.”
"Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?"
"No sun."
What does someone mean by a light year? The same as a regular year, but with less calories and fat.
I telephoned the tennis star Serena Williams for an interview and asked her, “What’s your favourite planet?”
Her: It’s Venus.
Me: Sorry Venus, would you put Serena on the phone?
Why did you guys not laugh at my space puns? Because there way to Sirius.
He knew literally everything about the constellations. Some might even say that his knowledge of the night sky was astronomical.
How will you save yourself if you come across an aggressive alien? Give him some space.
What is suns favorite chocolate bar?
A milky way.
What spread do astronauts use on their toast?
. . . Space jam
What kind of light goes around the earth? A Satel-lite.
My daughter asked me, "Why are the two planets coming close together?"
"Well, you see... When two planets love each other they can come together in holy astro nomy."
Old astronomers got so tired of waiting for the sun to go down, that they decided to pack it up and call it a day.
What will you call a crazy spaceman? An astronaut.