I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
Cell phones are a static symbol.
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
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