What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
Cell phones are a static symbol.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
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