Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
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