Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
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