What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.