You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
Cell phones are a static symbol.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
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