Bad saxophone players should be put on some kind of public list.
I want to know if I'm living next to a registered sax offender.
I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a wrap.
What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Wrap music.
What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna" fish!
A drum rolled down a hill.
Ba-dum tsssh!
What was Beethoven’s favourite fruit?
BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA... BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA...
What did the drum say about his childhood?
Those were the cymbaler days.
What does Eric Clapton and a cup of coffee have in common? They both suck without Cream.
Ringo, John snd George walked into an electric guitar shop...
They were less Paul.
What is Jehovah's witness' favorite band? The Doors.
What's better than having roses on your piano?
Tulips on your organ....
Silent Violin for Sale
No strings attached.
What was stolen from the music store? The lute.
What did the phone say to the radio when they met for a date?
This is AUXhilarating
I tried to play a bass guitar once.
It didn't make much sound, and it slipped out of my hands and swam away.
Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?
It had excellent mussel memory.
Did you hear the one about the pianist convention?
They had a few keynote speakers
What did Hillary Clinton say when Bill wanted a new Saxophone?
"Not until you get rid of that HarMonica."
What did Prince leave on the neck of his guitar?
Finger prince.
Have you guys heard of the musical group called Cellophane?
They mostly wrap.
What do you call an 80s synth pop band with a scoop of ice cream? Depeche a la Mode.
Why do blues musicians tour the most in the summer? So they can visit all their kids.
There are so many jokes about classical composers I could write you a Liszt.
I made a fiddle from a squash yesterday...
... i think it's broken, it only plays gourd vibrations.
Why did the pianist quit playing the piano?
Bad Bach.
What is a pianist’s favorite cheese ?
Mozzartrella.
I bought my daughter into a radio...
She's not very e-static about it.
Why did the Turkey want to join a band?
Because it had drumsticks!
Someone once asked if I ever played the violin
I told him that I had fiddled with it.
Which music group really embodied the fake it until you make it mantra?
The Pretenders.
Did you hear about the crook who was stealing guitars from classic rock stars?
He was just arrested for Petty theft.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
I told the person who was playing my trumpet,
To stop pushing my buttons.
What do you call a fishing boat with a great stereo?
bass boat.
Our church band is just two ladies on percussion...
It’s quite the CoNunDrum
What kind of cheese is really good at guitar?
Shreddar.
What do you call a musician with problems? a trebled man.
Why was Mozart a child prodigy?
All his early pieces were in A sharp minor.
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
What genre are national anthems?
Country.
What do you call a singing laptop?
A Dell.
My uncle was crushed by a piano...
His funeral was very low key.
I've started a new band called "Blanket'
We're a cover band
I asked my musician friend if he plays by ear.
He said, "Yes, it's a violin. That is how you hold it."
What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?
He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it.
Being a soprano is a great opera tunity.
Which genre of music appeals to most cheeses? R'n'Brie
Where did the music teacher leave her keys?
In the piano.
I've removed all the black keys from my piano
Hopefully I'll C Major improvement!
Drums - You can't beat 'em. Well, you have to, really.