Never laugh at your spouse’s choice… You’re one of them.
You know, I didn't kiss my wife until I was married...
because she wasn't my wife until we were married.
What do you get if your lovers soul was trapped in a sword for all eternity?
A babe-blade.
"You bake me crazy."
My wife and were on the sofa and I lean in for a cuddle.
She says: "careful I'm holding a tea!"
And I say: "and I'm holding you, so I guess we're both holding letters of the alphabet"
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive.
Olive, who?
Olive you, and I don’t care who knows it!
I love you with all my butt.
I would say my heart, but it is just not as big. (wink wink where my curvy booties at?!)
Owl always love you.
Never has there been a more romantic story than how those two geologists met.
It was lava at first sight.
Sloths never kiss on the first date, they take it slow.
What did one boat say to the other boat?
Are you interested in a little row-mance?
You will always have
a pizza of my heart.
"I wood never leaf you."
I love you berry much.
"I lava you."
What’s green and mean and stabs you when you hug it?
Cactus
"Yoda one for me."
What is it called when two spies hug?
A bond-ing moment.
There were two antennas who met on a roof and they fell in love and decided to get married. The ceremony was nothing fancy, but you could tell that they had a very strong connection.
You octopi my thoughts.
Now I know why people love footballers – especially the goalies, they are real keepers.
I love spending koala-ty time with you.
I love you and I ain’t lion.
You’re turtle-ly awesome.
I love all my computer brands and sometimes give ’em smooches.
But I never kiss Intel.
Or maybe it’s baseball players because they’re so great at hitting it off.
I get a real kick out of you.
You're one in a melon.
I took a road trip with my girlfriend who finally confessed she needs to stop and hug every now and again to reduce anxiety.
It was touch and go from there on.
What do you say when you find the perfect font?
You’re just my type!
I loaf you a lot.
Let’s go to bread.
I’ll always be running-back to you.
Some bunny loves you.
Its ok to kiss a nun....
But don't get into the habit.
"Did you hear how the baker proposed to his girlfriend?"
"Yeah, he told her he loafed her more than life itself"
"No, he actually told her how much he kneaded her"
I have bean
thinking about you.
What did one slice of bread say to the other at their wedding?
Let’s grow mold together.
What did the patient with the broken leg say to their doctor?
Hey doc, I have a crutch on you.
when I’m with you.
What did the bowl of soup write on their Valentine?
I love you pho real.
What did the lighter color shade tell to its dark lover?
I want hue
I started dating her when she backed her car into mine at the mall.
I guess you could say we totally met by accident.
I used to love puns about throwing things, but now I don’t.
It was just a fling.
Do you ever wake up, kiss the person beside you and feel glad you are alive?
I just did and apparently I will not be allowed on this airline again!
I told my wife to embrace her mistakes
So she gave me a hug!!!
What did the astronaut’s fiancé say when he proposed to her in open outer space? She said, “I can’t breathe!”
How long have I loved you? I’ve lost track.
Last winter was so cold, I couldn’t stop telling my wife how much I glove her.
Why do accountants make good lovers?
They're great with figures.
You are just like my car because you drive me crazy.
How do you get a teddy bear across the border?
You snuggle it across.
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