Halloween candy is yummy and all, but don't forget to save room for 'I scream.'
Why didn't the mummy finish his Halloween candy?
Because he was stuffed!
I dressed up as bacon for halloween.
To say the least, i was looking pretty CRISP.
For Halloween I’m going to write “Life” on a plain white T-shirt and hand out lemons to strangers
I’ll be your trick if you’ll be my treat.
I bought a pumpkin for Halloween but it was broken
So i had to get a pumpkin patch.
I told everyone that I’m going as a zombie character from Harry Potter this Halloween, but no one believes me.
I’m dead Sirius.
Did you hear about the train that dressed up for Halloween?
It became a fright train.
What does a placebo say on Halloween?
“Trick or Treatment!”
I went to a Halloween party wearing a pie shell and carrying a shepherds crook.
"What on earth are you supposed to be?" "I'm a spy" "A spy?. What kinda of spy wears a pie costume and carries a crook?"
A shepherds spy.
This Halloween, the only Candy I’m interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues
How do you fix a damaged jack-o-lantern?
You use a pumpkin patch.
What is a jack o lantern's favorite pick up line?
"Darling, you look GOURD-EOUS!!"
What do birds give out on Halloween?
Tweets.
My Haloween costume would have been perfect if my hair agreed with me. Guess I’m just having a bad scare day.
My dad has been making Halloween related puns all morning
He's now asking that I call him the Halloween Pun King.
What do you call Jack-O-Lantern cousins who lift weights together?
Pump Kins
I was a bit worried about making breakfast on Halloween
But I ain't afraid of no toast.
Halloween Math
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o'-lantern by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi.
Don’t be a jerk-o-lantern this Halloween — share your candy!
Thank goodness for Halloween, all of a sudden, cobwebs in my house are decorations!
For Halloween I'm going to dress as a donkey with a kilt
I'm going to be an ascot
Why did the ghost go to the bar? To get some boos.
why are the discarded papers that once held the halloween candy just like vocalists who have lost their rhythm, art, and poetry?
they are both empty rappers
On Halloween, I will be wearing a normal everyday T-Shirt
I'll be going as a Casualty
Jehovahs witnesses don’t celebrate halloween
I guess they don’t appreciate random people coming to their door
What did the Turkey do on Halloween?
He was a goblin
What is Halloween's favorite medicine?
Any brand of coffin cold.
My new Halloween cookies are bringing everyone back for more!
I call them boo merginues.
I'm going to need to exorcise a lot after all this Halloween candy.
What do you call a dancing ghost? Polka-haunt-us
How do Rednecks celebrate Halloween? Pump kin!
For Halloween, one of my sons dressed up as the clown from IT, and another son as a Twitter hashtag. They asked me my opinion...
I said "Penny wise, pound foolish"
What do Italians eat on Halloween?
Fettuccine Afraid-O
When do ghouls and goblins cook their victims? On Fry Day
Orange you excited for Halloween?
What do you get when you divide your jack-o’-lantern’s circumference by its diameter? Pumpkin-Pie!
Went to church on Halloween
Turned out to be a blessing in disguise
Why was the Jack-o-Lantern sad on Halloween?
Because he felt empty inside.
I dressed up as a jousting lance for Halloween, but nobody got it.
I thought it was pretty straight forward.
Saw Humpty Dumpty shopping for Halloween supplies.
He's going to have a great fall.
What do you call a Halloween boner? Petrified wood
“I found this humerus” is the perfect Halloween pun for boneheads.
This Halloween I was planning to go as a band aid, but decided against it.
It’s really hard to pull off.
What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A “hollow dog."
No matter what costumes they wear, when the Halloween candy comes out, everyone is a goblin!
I didn’t want to play it safe with a skeleton costume, I want people to know I have guts.
Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween? Me: Drunk!
Why do skeleton's make such good comedians? They have so many funny bones.
The record store owner needed to get the albums by a Canadian band with Neil Pert on drums out on sale before Halloween...
So he put in a Rush order!
Go to BabaMail
