I told everyone that I’m going as a zombie character from Harry Potter this Halloween, but no one believes me.
I’m dead Sirius.
I didn’t want to play it safe with a skeleton costume, I want people to know I have guts.
For Halloween I'm going to dress as a donkey with a kilt
I'm going to be an ascot
What did Dracula say when the witch and the warlock started kissing?" "Get a broom!
Saw Humpty Dumpty shopping for Halloween supplies.
He's going to have a great fall.
My Haloween costume would have been perfect if my hair agreed with me. Guess I’m just having a bad scare day.
“Halloween” = an excuse for girls to dress up like sluts.
I hope these Halloween puns don't drive you batty.
My dad has been making Halloween related puns all morning
He's now asking that I call him the Halloween Pun King.
Enjoy goblin up all your Halloween candy — just don't let it go to waist!
Did you get to meet the tallest vampire in the world? People call him Count Everest.
Thank goodness for Halloween, all of a sudden, cobwebs in my house are decorations!
What's the best part about the end of Halloween?
Putting the skeletons back in the closet!
What does a placebo say on Halloween?
“Trick or Treatment!”
Why couldn’t the witch have children? Her husband had a hallow weenie.
Who did Dracula take to the school dance? His ghoul friend.
Why do they put fences around graveyards? Because people are dying to get in!
Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man!
No matter what costumes they wear, when the Halloween candy comes out, everyone is a goblin!
I dressed up as bacon for halloween.
To say the least, i was looking pretty CRISP.
Although he seems happy and bright, the jack-o-lantern was so sad on Halloween because he’s hollow inside.
What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
What do mummies like listening to on Halloween? Wrap music!
Halloween candy is yummy and all, but don't forget to save room for 'I scream.'
What do you say when you're having dinner with a skeleton? Bone appetit!
I was a bit worried about making breakfast on Halloween
But I ain't afraid of no toast.
I went to a Halloween party wearing a pie shell and carrying a shepherds crook.
"What on earth are you supposed to be?" "I'm a spy" "A spy?. What kinda of spy wears a pie costume and carries a crook?"
A shepherds spy.
Why didn't the mummy finish his Halloween candy?
Because he was stuffed!
What did the Turkey do on Halloween?
He was a goblin
I dressed up as a jousting lance for Halloween, but nobody got it.
I thought it was pretty straight forward.
Jehovahs witnesses don’t celebrate halloween
I guess they don’t appreciate random people coming to their door
I’ll be your trick if you’ll be my treat.
On Halloween, I will be wearing a normal everyday T-Shirt
I'll be going as a Casualty
My new Halloween cookies are bringing everyone back for more!
I call them boo merginues.
Orange you excited for Halloween?
why are the discarded papers that once held the halloween candy just like vocalists who have lost their rhythm, art, and poetry?
they are both empty rappers
“I found this humerus” is the perfect Halloween pun for boneheads.
Are any of the Halloween Monsters good at math?
Only if you Count Dracula.
I bought a pumpkin for Halloween but it was broken
So i had to get a pumpkin patch.
What is a jack o lantern's favorite pick up line?
"Darling, you look GOURD-EOUS!!"
The record store owner needed to get the albums by a Canadian band with Neil Pert on drums out on sale before Halloween...
So he put in a Rush order!
How do Rednecks celebrate Halloween? Pump kin!
What do you call a Halloween boner? Petrified wood
How do you fix a damaged jack-o-lantern?
You use a pumpkin patch.
I let my kids pick my Halloween costume this year. They chose a hot dog...
... this is going to be my wurst Halloween ever.
Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween? Me: Drunk!
For Halloween, one of my sons dressed up as the clown from IT, and another son as a Twitter hashtag. They asked me my opinion...
I said "Penny wise, pound foolish"
Why did the Vampire read The New York Times? He heard it had great circulation.
Did you hear about the train that dressed up for Halloween?
It became a fright train.
My aunt showed up to our Halloween party wearing ranch bottle costume. She was an hour late.
Her response: Sorry, I was getting dressed.
Go to BabaMail
