Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man!
What do birds give out on Halloween?
Tweets.
This Halloween I was planning to go as a band aid, but decided against it.
It’s really hard to pull off.
“I found this humerus” is the perfect Halloween pun for boneheads.
I don't trust pumpkins. They're seedy.
I dressed up as a jousting lance for Halloween, but nobody got it.
I thought it was pretty straight forward.
Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween? Me: Drunk!
Son: Dad, did you know they used to carve turnips on Halloween?
Dad: They must have been out of their gourds.
Halloween candy is yummy and all, but don't forget to save room for 'I scream.'
What do you say when you're having dinner with a skeleton? Bone appetit!
What do you get when you divide your jack-o’-lantern’s circumference by its diameter? Pumpkin-Pie!
Did you hear about the train that dressed up for Halloween?
It became a fright train.
What did Dracula say when the witch and the warlock started kissing?" "Get a broom!
Why couldn’t the witch have children? Her husband had a hallow weenie.
What do you call a Halloween boner? Petrified wood
No matter what costumes they wear, when the Halloween candy comes out, everyone is a goblin!
What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A “hollow dog."
What's the best part about the end of Halloween?
Putting the skeletons back in the closet!
Halloween Math
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o'-lantern by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi.
For Halloween, one of my sons dressed up as the clown from IT, and another son as a Twitter hashtag. They asked me my opinion...
I said "Penny wise, pound foolish"
why are the discarded papers that once held the halloween candy just like vocalists who have lost their rhythm, art, and poetry?
they are both empty rappers
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