I need a new Halloween costume. I’m thinking of going as an evil nun.
Do I really need another bad habit?
What did Dracula say when the witch and the warlock started kissing?" "Get a broom!
Are any of the Halloween Monsters good at math?
Only if you Count Dracula.
No matter what costumes they wear, when the Halloween candy comes out, everyone is a goblin!
Halloween Math
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o'-lantern by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi.
What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
This Halloween I was planning to go as a band aid, but decided against it.
It’s really hard to pull off.
My dad has been making Halloween related puns all morning
He's now asking that I call him the Halloween Pun King.
Although he seems happy and bright, the jack-o-lantern was so sad on Halloween because he’s hollow inside.
We’ve all heard of the mushroom who gets invited to the party cause he’s a fungi, but what about the mushroom who stole all the halloween candy?
He had no morrels.
Did you get to meet the tallest vampire in the world? People call him Count Everest.
Son: Dad, did you know they used to carve turnips on Halloween?
Dad: They must have been out of their gourds.
What do you call Jack-O-Lantern cousins who lift weights together?
Pump Kins
The record store owner needed to get the albums by a Canadian band with Neil Pert on drums out on sale before Halloween...
So he put in a Rush order!
I said to my son, "There's only one thing about Halloween that scares me."
He asked, "Which is?"
I replied, "Exactly!"
Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man!
What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A “hollow dog."
What's the best part about the end of Halloween?
Putting the skeletons back in the closet!
Ghosts make the best cheerleaders. They have lots of spirit!
For Halloween I'm going to dress as a donkey with a kilt
I'm going to be an ascot
I’ll be your trick if you’ll be my treat.