I need a new Halloween costume. I’m thinking of going as an evil nun.
Do I really need another bad habit?
I’ll be your trick if you’ll be my treat.
How do you fix a damaged jack-o-lantern?
You use a pumpkin patch.
Did you get to meet the tallest vampire in the world? People call him Count Everest.
For Halloween I’m going to write “Life” on a plain white T-shirt and hand out lemons to strangers
What do you call a dancing ghost? Polka-haunt-us
What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
“Halloween” = an excuse for girls to dress up like sluts.
What did Dracula say when the witch and the warlock started kissing?" "Get a broom!
For Halloween I'm going to dress as a donkey with a kilt
I'm going to be an ascot
Why did the Vampire read The New York Times? He heard it had great circulation.
I went to a Halloween party wearing a pie shell and carrying a shepherds crook.
"What on earth are you supposed to be?" "I'm a spy" "A spy?. What kinda of spy wears a pie costume and carries a crook?"
A shepherds spy.
What do you call Jack-O-Lantern cousins who lift weights together?
Pump Kins
What do you say when you're having dinner with a skeleton? Bone appetit!
Did you know that the soldiers at Arlington salute their new Jack-o-Lanterns every Halloween?
They always honor the changing of the Gourd.
I hope these Halloween puns don't drive you batty.
Although he seems happy and bright, the jack-o-lantern was so sad on Halloween because he’s hollow inside.
What do mummies like listening to on Halloween? Wrap music!
What did Dracula say when the witch and the warlock started kissing?" "Get a broom!
What is a jack o lantern's favorite pick up line?
"Darling, you look GOURD-EOUS!!"
What do you get when you divide your jack-o’-lantern’s circumference by its diameter? Pumpkin-Pie!
I dressed up as bacon for halloween.
To say the least, i was looking pretty CRISP.
Why do skeleton's make such good comedians? They have so many funny bones.
What does a placebo say on Halloween?
“Trick or Treatment!”
I let my kids pick my Halloween costume this year. They chose a hot dog...
... this is going to be my wurst Halloween ever.
I was a bit worried about making breakfast on Halloween
But I ain't afraid of no toast.
I'm going to need to exorcise a lot after all this Halloween candy.
My Haloween costume would have been perfect if my hair agreed with me. Guess I’m just having a bad scare day.
“I found this humerus” is the perfect Halloween pun for boneheads.
I bought a pumpkin for Halloween but it was broken
So i had to get a pumpkin patch.
Halloween candy is yummy and all, but don't forget to save room for 'I scream.'
My dad has been making Halloween related puns all morning
He's now asking that I call him the Halloween Pun King.
I don't trust pumpkins. They're seedy.
Are any of the Halloween Monsters good at math?
Only if you Count Dracula.
On Halloween, I will be wearing a normal everyday T-Shirt
I'll be going as a Casualty
What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A “hollow dog."
Orange you excited for Halloween?
Enjoy goblin up all your Halloween candy — just don't let it go to waist!
Saw Humpty Dumpty shopping for Halloween supplies.
He's going to have a great fall.
Don’t be a jerk-o-lantern this Halloween — share your candy!
why are the discarded papers that once held the halloween candy just like vocalists who have lost their rhythm, art, and poetry?
they are both empty rappers
We’ve all heard of the mushroom who gets invited to the party cause he’s a fungi, but what about the mushroom who stole all the halloween candy?
He had no morrels.
Halloween Math
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o'-lantern by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi.
This Halloween, the only Candy I’m interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues
Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man!
What is Halloween's favorite medicine?
Any brand of coffin cold.
Did you guys hear about the airplane that dressed up for Halloween?
It was in disguise.
Why do they put fences around graveyards? Because people are dying to get in!
What's the best part about the end of Halloween?
Putting the skeletons back in the closet!
What do you call a Halloween boner? Petrified wood
Go to BabaMail
