You’re unbeleafable.
What do you call a book on underwater gardening?
A self-kelp book.
We’re mint to be.
I’ll never leaf you.
What do you call an everyday potato? A commen-tater.
How do you know you are a Master Gardener?
There is a decorative compost container on your kitchen counter.
You would rather go to a nursery to shop than a clothing store.
You prefer gardening to watching television.
You plan vacation trips to arboretums and public parks.
Dirt under your fingernails and calloused palms are matters of pride.
Let’s take a leaf of faith.
Eat, drink and be rosemary.
When does a farmer dance? When he drops the beet.
Why didn’t anyone laugh at the gardener’s jokes?
Because they were too corny!
In on the ground flora.
What’s the easiest way to stop a dog from digging in the garden?
Take away his shovel!
The farmer had such a bad headache he had to retire. He was sick of his grains.
All things must grass.
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the corn has ears.
I started dating the girl across the street. Honestly, lawn-distance relationships aren’t that hard.
I'm a gardener and I'm OK
I sleep all night and I plant all day!
I dress in grubby clothing and hang around with slugs.
Oh I'm happy in the garden
With dirt and plants and bugs.
Do you have the thyme? I need to get somewhere around tree o’clock.
I beg your garden?
I beg your garden?
Why is The Hulk such a good gardener? Because he’s got green fingers.
Why was the gardener so embarrassed? He wet his plants!
I got into a fight with a snail. It was a real slug-fest.
I got a job working in a hayfield. After one day I bailed.
Ow did the millionaire gardener get rich so quickly?
He was running a huge pansy scheme.
What kind of socks does a gardener wear?
Garden hose!
Did you hear the gardener's joke about the old oak tree?
It's acorny one!
My local garden center is doing buy one, get one free on manure. Don’t sniff at this offer.
What rock would you find inside a garden shed?
Shedimentary.
All clover the world.
My leaf blower doesn’t work. It just sucks!
After a year of waiting, my publisher finally approved my book on gardening
It's about Thyme.
Why didn’t the flower get to go out on a second date?
He was a garden variety.
Leaf me alone.
I had a job drilling holes for water. It was well boring.
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