Farmers are real experts, they are often outstanding in their fields.
Ow did the millionaire gardener get rich so quickly?
He was running a huge pansy scheme.
All clover the world.
Scarecrows always garden their patch.
Leaf me alone.
How to stop a dog from digging in a garden?
Start right! Never let the dog see you digging... Doggy see doggy do.
How do you know if you're a bad gardener?
All the rocks in your garden went belly up!
I asked the staff at my local garden center what to grow in my garden. They gave me some sage advice.
Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.
Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.
The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.
Germinate: To become a naturalized German.
Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot.
It’s party thyme.
A man walks into a flower shop "I'd like some flowers please."
"Certainly, Sir. What did you have in mind?"
He shrugs "Well I'm not sure, I uh, I uh, I uh..."
"Perhaps I could help. What exactly have you done?"
All dressed up and nowhere to grow.
I had a job drilling holes for water. It was well boring.
Let me plant one on ya!
Seed between the lines.
What’s a corn farmer’s favorite animal? The unicorn.
What’s the name of the gardener’s favorite show? Lawn and order.
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the corn has ears.
I’ve always been afraid of gardening.
But then I decided to grow a pear.
Don’t moss around.
What happened to the Venus Fly Trap's plant food?
The arbor-ate-em.
Has anyone else's gardening skills improved during this quarantine like mine have?
I planted myself on the sofa at the beginning of April and I've grown bigger ever since.
After a year of waiting, my publisher finally approved my book on gardening
It's about Thyme.
Sherlock Holmes was doing some gardening, Watson asked what he was planting. He replied “A lemon tree, my dear Watson”.
A woman asks her neighbor, "Can I borrow your lawnmower?"
Her neighbor says, "No, he's not home yet"
In the eyes of the lawn.
When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
Why did the gardener need a cork?
Because his garden sprung a leek!
I want to start gardening, but I haven’t botany plants.
Why do gardeners plant bulbs? So the worms can see where they’re going.
Botanists have developed a vegetable that eliminates the need to brush your teeth.
Bristle sprouts.
What did the gardeners say when he discovered nasty weeds in his garden?
I have spotted spurge!
Why was the gardener so embarrassed? He wet his plants!
What kind of flowers bloom on your face? Tulips!
Why did the gardener think her plant was sick?
It was looking very green.
Go to BabaMail
