Sherlock Holmes was doing some gardening, Watson asked what he was planting. He replied “A lemon tree, my dear Watson”.
How do you know if you're a bad gardener?
All the rocks in your garden went belly up!
All things must grass.
When does a farmer dance? When he drops the beet.
I want to start gardening, but I haven’t botany plants.
Why is The Hulk such a good gardener? Because he’s got green fingers.
Why did the gardener think her plant was sick?
It was looking very green.
What happened to the Venus Fly Trap's plant food?
The arbor-ate-em.
We’re mint to be.
God made rainy days, so gardeners could get the housework done.
Do you have the thyme? I need to get somewhere around tree o’clock.
Let’s take a leaf of faith.
I started dating the girl across the street. Honestly, lawn-distance relationships aren’t that hard.
Herb your enthusiasm.
Farmers are real experts, they are often outstanding in their fields.
Mountains aren’t just funny. They’re hill areas.
If a man is alone in the garden and speaks, and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?
What rock would you find inside a garden shed?
Shedimentary.
What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?
A lawn moo-er.
It’s party thyme.
New Year's resolution for the bankrupt gardener was to forget the past and rely on the fuchsia...
Yet again, someone has added more soil to my allotment. The plot thickens…
All clover the world.
How do you know you are a Master Gardener?
There is a decorative compost container on your kitchen counter.
You would rather go to a nursery to shop than a clothing store.
You prefer gardening to watching television.
You plan vacation trips to arboretums and public parks.
Dirt under your fingernails and calloused palms are matters of pride.
Did you hear the gardener's joke about the old oak tree?
It's acorny one!
Cleaning my cold frame is a pane in the glass.
I got a job working in a hayfield. After one day I bailed.
Don’t moss around.
Why was the gardener so busy over the weekend?
He had a long honeydew list.
How do you make an apple puff? Chase it around the garden.
What is it called when a gardener covertly listens to foliage falling in the fall?
Leaves-dropping.
Seed between the lines.
What do you call a grumpy and short-tempered gardener?
A Snapdragon.
One more thyme.
In the eyes of the lawn.
That’s a bit mulch.
What kind of socks does a gardener wear?
Garden hose!
Our farm is haunted by chickens. You could say that we have a poultry-geist problem.
What do you get if you cross a four-leaf clover with poison ivy?
A rash of good luck.
I started an insurance company for flower and gardening businesses...
It's called "oopsie daisies."
In on the ground flora.
A man walks into a flower shop "I'd like some flowers please."
"Certainly, Sir. What did you have in mind?"
He shrugs "Well I'm not sure, I uh, I uh, I uh..."
"Perhaps I could help. What exactly have you done?"
I beg your garden?
My local garden center is doing buy one, get one free on manure. Don’t sniff at this offer.
What’s the easiest way to stop a dog from digging in the garden?
Take away his shovel!
What did the gardeners say when he discovered nasty weeds in his garden?
I have spotted spurge!
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the corn has ears.
Why do gardeners plant bulbs? So the worms can see where they’re going.
If, instead of talking to your plants, you yelled at them, would they still grow, only to be troubled and insecure?
Your good seed for the day.
Go to BabaMail
