Let’s take a leaf of faith.
All clover the world.
The farmer had such a bad headache he had to retire. He was sick of his grains.
What’s the easiest way to stop a dog from digging in the garden?
Take away his shovel!
Seed between the lines.
I’m rooting for you!
Ow did the millionaire gardener get rich so quickly?
He was running a huge pansy scheme.
What happened to the Venus Fly Trap's plant food?
The arbor-ate-em.
I beg your garden?
Do you have the thyme? I need to get somewhere around tree o’clock.
God made rainy days, so gardeners could get the housework done.
I started dating the girl across the street. Honestly, lawn-distance relationships aren’t that hard.
Why do gardeners plant bulbs? So the worms can see where they’re going.
Herb your enthusiasm.
She didn’t date the gardener. He was too rough around the hedges.
How to stop a dog from digging in a garden?
Start right! Never let the dog see you digging... Doggy see doggy do.
If you’re looking for a job, get trained in horticulture. It’s a growing industry.
What did the pirate call his vegetable patch?
His garrrrgh-den.
When does a farmer dance? When he drops the beet.
Your good seed for the day.
Any self-respecting rock will break at least one shovel before accepting its new home.
What did the gardeners say when he discovered nasty weeds in his garden?
I have spotted spurge!
I wasn’t all that interested in gardening, but I planted a few seeds, and it grew on me.
You’re unbeleafable.
I’m very frond of you.
Our farm is haunted by chickens. You could say that we have a poultry-geist problem.
I started an insurance company for flower and gardening businesses...
It's called "oopsie daisies."
I got a job working in a hayfield. After one day I bailed.
Why didn’t the flower get to go out on a second date?
He was a garden variety.
Leaf me alone.
My leaf blower doesn’t work. It just sucks!
New Year's resolution for the bankrupt gardener was to forget the past and rely on the fuchsia...
How do you make an apple puff? Chase it around the garden.
All dressed up and nowhere to grow.
It’s party thyme.
My local garden center is doing buy one, get one free on manure. Don’t sniff at this offer.
Why did the gardener need a cork?
Because his garden sprung a leek!
Many gardeners suffer from hay fever. Isn’t that news a pollen?
All things must grass.
When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
How do you know if you're a bad gardener?
All the rocks in your garden went belly up!
Let me plant one on ya!
How do you know you are a Master Gardener?
There is a decorative compost container on your kitchen counter.
You would rather go to a nursery to shop than a clothing store.
You prefer gardening to watching television.
You plan vacation trips to arboretums and public parks.
Dirt under your fingernails and calloused palms are matters of pride.
What do you call a grumpy and short-tempered gardener?
A Snapdragon.
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the corn has ears.
A woman asks her neighbor, "Can I borrow your lawnmower?"
Her neighbor says, "No, he's not home yet"
I used to make lots of money clearing leaves from gardens. I was raking it in.
Why is The Hulk such a good gardener? Because he’s got green fingers.
Cleaning my cold frame is a pane in the glass.
Has anyone else's gardening skills improved during this quarantine like mine have?
I planted myself on the sofa at the beginning of April and I've grown bigger ever since.
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