Why was the gardener so busy over the weekend?
He had a long honeydew list.
I’ll never leaf you.
I got a job working in a hayfield. After one day I bailed.
All dressed up and nowhere to grow.
What’s the name of the gardener’s favorite show? Lawn and order.
Do you need some encourage-mint?
What did the gardeners say when he discovered nasty weeds in his garden?
I have spotted spurge!
My neighbor asked me if he could borrow my lawnmower. It told him he could; if he did not take it out of my yard.
Let’s take a leaf of faith.
Your good seed for the day.
Gardening question: Does anyone know a good place where I can buy a fern? Asking for a frond.
A man walks into a flower shop "I'd like some flowers please."
"Certainly, Sir. What did you have in mind?"
He shrugs "Well I'm not sure, I uh, I uh, I uh..."
"Perhaps I could help. What exactly have you done?"
What do you call an everyday potato? A commen-tater.
All dressed up and nowhere to grow.
Why didn’t anyone laugh at the gardener’s jokes?
Because they were too corny!
What’s a gardener’s favorite type of trousers? Ones with turnips.
Garden centers are attempting to stem a fall in the sale of fresh flowers.
Winter does not arrive until the ice is in the compost heap. Spring does not arrive until the ice is out of the compost.
God made rainy days, so gardeners could get the housework done.
Botanists have developed a vegetable that eliminates the need to brush your teeth.
Bristle sprouts.
Why did the gardener need a cork?
Because his garden sprung a leek!
I started an insurance company for flower and gardening businesses...
It's called "oopsie daisies."
I’m rooting for you!
How to stop a dog from digging in a garden?
Start right! Never let the dog see you digging... Doggy see doggy do.
I used to make lots of money clearing leaves from gardens. I was raking it in.
How do you know if you're a bad gardener?
All the rocks in your garden went belly up!
I was offered a job as a gardener, but I didn’t take it because the celery was too low.
I had a job drilling holes for water. It was well boring.
Why do gardeners plant bulbs? So the worms can see where they’re going.
Many gardeners suffer from hay fever. Isn’t that news a pollen?
If you’re looking for a job, get trained in horticulture. It’s a growing industry.
Scarecrows always garden their patch.
I beg your garden?
Trowel and error.
Schwarzenegger retired from TV to kill bugs. Now he’s an ex-terminator.
What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?
A lawn moo-er.
Ow did the millionaire gardener get rich so quickly?
He was running a huge pansy scheme.
My local garden center is doing buy one, get one free on manure. Don’t sniff at this offer.
Who needs friends when you’ve got anemones?
One more thyme.
I beg your garden?
Don’t moss around.
What kind of garden flowers grow in outer space?
Moonflowers, Sunflowers, Star Clusters, and Cosmos.
When does a farmer dance? When he drops the beet.
What do you call a grumpy and short-tempered gardener?
A Snapdragon.
New Year's resolution for the bankrupt gardener was to forget the past and rely on the fuchsia...
Why didn’t the flower get to go out on a second date?
He was a garden variety.
One bonsai tree grower was so successful he moved into a miniature house.
Sherlock Holmes was doing some gardening, Watson asked what he was planting. He replied “A lemon tree, my dear Watson”.
Do you have the thyme? I need to get somewhere around tree o’clock.
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