I have some extra chairs in my garage for emergency seat-uations.
I used to hate the electric blanket.
But the last few nights I’ve been warming up to it.
When the librarian bumped her head, she had no one to blame but her shelf.
I think i spent way too much on this table. It is just not a foldable.
Do you think anyone will buy the new furniture made by Apple?
iWood
How do you get more bounce in a water bed?
Put some spring water in it
I've come up with a list of the top 10 types of specialized chairs.
Number 3 will shock you
Why does a lawyer tuck a suitcase into bed?
To rest his case
Nothing really mattress.
I put some desks and a whiteboard in my living room today.
It made it look a little more classy.
I had a few doubts about buying a big metal cabinet to store all my valuables.
Turns out... it was a safe purchase.
I put a blanket on a small pepper
He said he felt a little chili
I wanted to buy a book on Albert Einstein's theories but it was on the top shelf...
It's information that's way over my head.
Last night in bed, I was gazing up at the stars and thinking to myself....
Where the heck is my roof ?
How do you get into an all glass China cabinet?
Sorry, that's glassified.
My chair finally broke down yesterday.
It just doesn't give a sit anymore.
Why was the cabinet maker fired on his first day?
He just couldn't get a handle on it.
I thought I won the argument with my wife as to how to arrange the dining room furniture... But when I got home, the tables were turned
If you're wondering what to donate to a soup kitchen...
...a dining set would be chair-i-table
My wife was a bit down so I decided to redecorate our living room.
Thought it would chair her up but sofa she haven't even noticed
What do you call a blessed blanket?
Holy sheet
I'm moving some couches today...
Sofa, so good!
What is the biggest type of bed ?
The sea bed.
Remind me not to get into another pillow fight... the risk for a concushion is too big.
Which noble man loves sitting at a round table?
Sir Cumference
I know a good joke about Ikea furniture, but I'm still putting it together.
What’s a farmer’s favorite piece of furniture?
a COWch.
Did you hear about the guy who's blanket fell off of him in the hospital?
He never recovered
What did the Papa Blanket say to the Mama Blanket when the Baby Blanket was crying?
Comforter.
What did Papa cabinet advise to his Son cabinet before his first date?
"Just be youshelf"
A coworker said, "Oh my gosh there's a mouse on your desk!"
To which, I replied "I know! And it's not working!"
What pillow set do the church organist and his wife have?
Hymn and Hers.
Why is IKEA the cheapest place to get furniture?
Because they have some Swede deals!
I think the final paragraph of my essay is on the top shelf...
But I don't want to jump to conclusions.
My wife chose a new dining table with a metal frame instead of a wooden one
I complimented her on picking an unteak.
Why did the broom decide to go to bed?
He was getting sweepy
What do you call an artistic piece of furniture?
A drawer
Why did the bicycle go to bed early?
Because it was two-tyred
What would a self deprecating wardrobe say?
"I hate my-shelf"
Two cabinets walk out of a bar...
One says to the other, "you walking home?" and the other replies, "Nah, I'm cabinet."
My wife asked if I could clear the kitchen table.
I had to get a running start but I made it.
A man started wearing a blanket to the office.
His colleagues began to suspect he was working undercover...
I'm never sure if I like rocking chairs or not.
I go back and forth on them
Just found out they make adult race car beds so I bought one.
That way I can be fast asleep.
What do you do when you are in the wrong seat?
Stand corrected
I couldn't chair less!
Why does a milking chair only have three legs?
The cow has the udder.
Why doesn't james bond fart in bed?
Because it'll blow his cover
Why does your laptop have a blanket on it?
It's on sleep mode.
A student made our teacher so angry, they flipped their desk
Oh, the tables have turned
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